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Although this matter is discussed exclusively, but just to mention my opinion regardless of what respected muftian-e-karam suggest, on a point raised by some respected members in other posts as:

point by some members:

According to islam, nikah kai baad mian bivi mehram ho jatay hain aur as per their wish, even chup kar bhi wazeefa e zaujiat ada kar saktay hain, agar rukhsati amal main na aee ho.because "rukhsati" ka quran aur hadees main koi zikar nahin balkay yeh cultural thinking hai.

My Point:

Islam main "amal ka daromadar niyaat per hai", we all believe on that. Nikah ka basic purpose "sari community kai samnay is baat ka iqrar karna hota hai kai ab donon larka aur larki mian bivi hain". yeh aik tarah ka agreement hota hai donon kai darmian gawahon aur poori community ki mojoodgi main. aur jab rukhsati honee ho tab bhi gawahon aur community ko pata hota hai kai ab larka aur larki wazeefa e zaujiat ada kar saktay hain aur agar rukhsati na hoee ho tu community or atleast gawahon ko pata hota hai kai abhi rukhsati nahin hue. yeh aik tarah ki mutual understanding hotee hai logon kai darmian. community, gawah, aur mian bivi--sab ki niyat yahi hotee hai kai abhi rukhsati nahin hue, lihaza woh donon mubasharat na kar saktay hain aur na karain gai. Rukhsati na karnay ka word use hi is liye hotah ai kai everyone knows kai abhi donon sex nahin karain gai. Is ko aap riwaj keh lain, rasm kah lain ya mutual understanding. yeh muashray main insanon kai aik doosray per trust hai. yahi trust insanon ka aik doosray per aitebar hota hai kai agar kisi larki ki rukhsati nahin hue tu woh kanwari ho gi.

ab agar aap logon aur gawahon ko yeh batain kai rukhsati nahin hue, aur khud chup kar sex kar lain tu phir gawahon ka kia faida hua. yeh tu aik tarah ka breach of contract hai. gawahon ka maqsad hi shadi ki gawahi dena hai aur is baat ki gawahi kai larki ab larkay kai haq main chalee gaee hai. rukhsati na honay ki soorat main woh abhi gawah hain kai donon aapas main bind hain laikin abhi sex na karnay ka agreement donon taraf sai hai. Otherwise agar sex kar lia jata hai tu in future , in case agar larki ki without rukhsati separation ho jaye aur doosri jagah shadi ho tu yeh batana ho ga kai although rukhsati nahin hue thee but they have shared bed. kion kai Allah talah niyaton ko janta hai.

agar koi in riwaj ko tasleem nahin karta aur samajhta hai kai rukhsati ka word un ki dictionary main nahin hai aur na hona chahiye, tu woh shadi kai pooray process main rukhsati honay ya na honay ka zikar hi na karain. takay yeh understood ho kai now ab woh wazeefa e zaujiat (sex) ada kar saktay hain.

Its solely my opinion based on my knowledge, I might be wrong. But if you guys can read it , please let me know ur opinion wihtout any prejudice and hatred. thanks

My Reply

Group: Experts Joined: 25th May, 2007 Topic: 6 Post: 2107 Age: 33

Posted on:29th Jul 2007, 3:47am

iddat ka masla bhi paida hota hai

1. nikah ke bad rukhsati ka hona ya na hona na sirf cultural masla hai balkeh religious masla bhi hai.

2. aisi larki jiska nikah hua lekin rukhsati nahi hui, virgin tasawar ki jati hai. yahi wajah hai keh aisi larki ka shohar agar talaq dede ya inteqal karjai tu os par iddat lazim nahi hoti.

3. jab keh rukhsati ke bad larki virgin tasawar nahi kijati isi lia agar rukhsati ke bad shohar talaq de ya inteqal kar jai tu iddat lazim hoti hai.

4. iddat ka sab se aham maqsad yeh hota hai keh agar pahle shohar se koi pregnancy ho tu wo zahir ho jai.

5. nikah ke bad agar ap ne apni bivi se foreplay kia hai tu ap ki bivi par bhi iddat ke wahi qawaneen lagoo ho ge jo keh rukhsati ke bad wali dulhan par hoti hai. yani khuda na khasta agar ap ose talaq dede ya aap ka inteqal ho jai tu ose bhi iddat peh baithna hoga.

6. agar aisi bivi iddat par nahi baithe gi tu allah ki nafarmani kare ge aur os ka gunah hoga. jabke iddat par baithne ki soorat mai sharmindagi uthani pare gi kio keh is tarah sab ko pata chal jai ga keh is larki ka rukhsati se qabal apne shohar se jismani taluqat tha.

7. nikah ke bad rukhsati se qabal bivi se taluq rakhne se na tu nikah toota hai aur na hi koi gunah hai. lekin aisi bivi ki haisiat rukhsati ke bad wali dulhan jaisi tasawar ki jati hai. yeni yeh virgin nahi hoti aur is par iddat lizim hojati hai.

8. nikah ke bad rukhsati se qabal bivi se mubasrat kare ya na kare, sirf foreplay karne par bhi jismani taluq kahlai ga aur iddat lazim hoga. lekin na nikah toote ga aur na hi gunah hoga.

faisee

Group: Active Members Joined: 14th Feb, 2007 Topic: 86 Post: 832 Age: 27

Posted on:29th Jul 2007, 4:14am

Re: My Reply

I agree.

khan_80

Group: Experts Joined: 09th Mar, 2007 Topic: 8 Post: 2741 Age: 30

Posted on:29th Jul 2007, 9:29am

re: faisee

Note: My post is purely based on social thinkings and aspects and no body should take it personally.

It is a trend now-a-days that:

nikah is done during the studies of the girl and rukhsati is planned after both the partners are in practical life (completed their studies and doing job).
OR, if the relationship is to be built in the close relatives, they usually do nikah to bound the girl and then do rukhsati when the boy is quite capable enough to start a family successfully.
sometimes due to poverty and limited resources, girl's parents do the nikah and plan to do rukhsati after 1-2 years and meanwhile they make jahiaz for their daughter.
OR, if the boy is living abroad and do not have leave from the job, they do nikah on telephone and get the papers completed then after the immegration process the bride fly to her husband's place.

whatever the situation is, NIKAH is considered as a very pure, pious and strong relation and it has to be respected with its complete soul.

Sex after nikah is not acceptable in our society and it should not be practiced as it can create many problems if the rukhsati(God forbid) do not take place(due to any reason).

Bewaqoof

Group: Members Joined: 15th May, 2007 Topic: 271 Post: 3549 Age: 38

Posted on:29th Jul 2007, 3:58pm

khan_80 ka andaz bahut hi piara hai

khan_80 aik MBBS doctor hai. yeh masha-allah se MBA bhi hai. in ke post shuru se hi kafi authentic, aur polite hote the. lekin waqt guzarne ke sath sath kafi mature bhi hone lage hai. mujhe tu aisa lagta hai keh in ki English bhi pahle se kafi behtar hogai hai. pahle yeh mukhtasar jawab deti thi lekin ab tafseel se jawab deti hai. shaid isi lia cherry ne kaha tha keh khan_80 ka Kalizuban se koi muqabla nahi. mera khial se koi muqabla ho ya na ho lekin yeh manna pare ga keh khan_80 ka apna aik andaz hai jo keh bahut hi piara hai.

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