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Serious Advice: How Can I Help Immatured Person?

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Cheeku Group: Members  Joined: 16th Apr, 2008  Topic: 12  Post: 35  Age:  35  
Posted on:19th Apr 2008, 3:17pm
 

Serious Advice: How Can I Help Immatured Person?

i have a problem which is disturbing me. i had a friend (male) since last one year. i had done my masters n was working in a multinational company at a managerial post.i met him in office when he came to my office for internship.during his stay, i urged him to continue study furhter.i helped him through making him prepared for entry tests.i also went at his home on sunday n teach him.one thing to note, he is my age fellow.

after all he started his study.he often came to me to complete different assignments and ask help for study. i did every best. for these reasons,her mother regarded me very high.

but with the passage of time, i realised his nature.he always took things casually and also he was very loose talker. due to his behaviour, not only i was disturbed, his family was also upset. however i continued that he will understand. but after all our relations worsened and ended.

her mother often calls me n ask to help him in his study and other issues. his mother gave me every respect. i told his mother that our relations cant be restored to actual position. so i never went his home and never talk to my friend.

i feel guilty that i am not doing right and breaking the heart of his mother who is also respected for me.

what should i do? 

My Reply Group: Members  Joined: 19th Sep, 2010  Topic: 2  Post: 2481  Age:  49  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 1:56pm
 

friend ki khoobi aur khami

agar aap samajhte hai keh woh aap ka friend hai tu aap ko os ki khoobio ke saath saath khaamio se bhi piar hona chahiye. 
BeautyStar Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2007  Topic: 52  Post: 3584  Age:  30  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 2:27pm
 

Agreed to MyReply

Buhat acha falsafa peech kiya MyReply ne Friendship per....

Dost ki Khoobi + Khaamiyaan donon se Friendship karne chahiyah
Cheeku Group: Members  Joined: 16th Apr, 2008  Topic: 12  Post: 35  Age:  35  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 2:31pm
 

disagreed

but to remain stay for a long time, it becomes necessary that a person should be sincere.but what about the person who is just sincere to himself.

 

My Reply Group: Members  Joined: 19th Sep, 2010  Topic: 2  Post: 2481  Age:  49  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 2:48pm
 

dosti aur muhabbat qurbani sikhati hai, khood gharzi nahi

Cheeko: agar aap samajhte hai keh aap apne dost ki khaamia qabool nahi ker sakte tu phir aap apne aap ko os ka dost na kahe, balke janne wala kahe.

dost tu sirf dost hota hai, chahe woh hazaro khamio ka malik ho.

jis tarah bhai, behan, beta, beti ki khamio per dukh hota hai lekin rishta tora nahi jaa sakta, osi tarah dost ki khamio per bhi dukh tu kia jaa sakta hai lekin dosti ka rishta nahi tora jaa sakta hai. dosti ka rishta torne wala dost nahi hota.

dosti aur muhabbat qurbani sikhati hai, khood gharzi nahi.
~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 3:03pm
 

My Reply

Buhut Hi Barhiya Baat Ki Hai Appnay.........Main Appsay Muttafik Hon..........likin app say ek sawaal ye hai k chalo hum usay dost samajh kar har qurbaani denay k liyain tayyar hain.........likin hamain kesay pata chalain ga k wo bhi hamaray dost  hai / wo bhi hamain dost samajhta hai ..........ya phir aasteen ka saanp hai....plz zara is par roshni daliyai........
~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 3:03pm
 

friendship

ek aur pehlu bhi shamil hojata hai jis ko hum expectation keh saktay hain......
agar app kisi ko kuch de rahay ho tou phir denay ki niyat say hi usay do , kuch de kar badley main lenay ki umeed rakh ka na dou .............
dosray words main kisi say expectation na rakho kisi bhi baat ki warna jab wo pori nahi hogi tou appko dukh hoga......
My Reply Group: Members  Joined: 19th Sep, 2010  Topic: 2  Post: 2481  Age:  49  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 3:15pm
 

dosti do tarfa hoti hai

HITMAN: dosti do tarfa hoti hai. dosti ki feeling do tarfa muhabbat ki feeling hoti hai. agar aik partner ke dil mai dost se muhabbat ki feeling nahi hai tu phir yeh dosti nahi huyee. dosti koi khooni rishta nahi hai keh sirf yaktarfa feeling ko bhi bardasht ki jaaye.

agar cheeko ke dost ko cheeko se muhabbat nahi hai tu phir cheeko ko yahi mashwarah hai keh aise shakhs se dosti khatam ker le. iss shakhs se ose nuqsaan bhi pahunch sakta hai.

lekin agar dono ko aik doosre se muhabbat hai tu phir cheko ko chahiye keh woh apne dost ki khamio ko khatam kerne ki koshish kare, khatam kerne mai nakam ho tu phir nazar andaz ker de, lekin dosti ka rishta khatam na kare
sunehri76 Group: Members  Joined: 04th Aug, 2007  Topic: 100  Post: 4632  Age:  41  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 3:35pm
 

friendship

Dosti kamyab tab hi hoti hai jab donon fareek is me shamil hon,aur donon ek dusre ka khayal rakhain ..ek dusre ki khamiyan aur khubiyan exept karain..Dosti me Gharz shamil nahi honi chahye...jo Dost ke sath bhi Khudgharzi ke sath Pesh aye,wo ye sabit kar deta hai ke wo behtareen Dost nahi hai....

khamiyan..Dost ki khamiyon ko exept karn chahye...but agar koi khami aisi ho jo apki bardash se bahir ho,ya apke lye exeptable na ho (like agar friend drug/nasha karta ho)to ek ache Dost ko apne Dost ki in adton ko hatane ke lye uski help karni chahye usse uski khamiyan batani chahyen.aur use chance/moka/time dena chahye ke wo apni khami door kar sake...but if he dont do this,and wo khami apke lye exeptable na ho to phir aisi Dosti bhi khatam kar deni chahye..

josh Group: Members  Joined: 30th Jul, 2007  Topic: 47  Post: 2282  Age:  40  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 3:42pm
 

Friendship to Love.....

baat kuch clear nahi ho rahi..
ap managerial post par hain aur us larkay nay aik tara say apnay career ka aghaz kia... phir aapnay usay guide kia aur mazeed education hasil karnay ka mashwara dia aur study mai uski help ki... jo ho saka wo apnay kia. ap dono mai understanding bi hai isi waja say apki dosti 1 saal tak rahi...

ap keh rahi hain k "he always took things casually and also he was very loose talker",, muje iski kuch samaj nai lag rai,, agar to wo har bat ko casually leta to wo apkay kehnay say study continue na karta, aur loose talk ap kis kisam ki bat ko keh rahi hain ?? koi example day deti to samajhnay mai thori asani ho jati k ap loose talk kis kisam ki baat/behaviour ko kehti/samajhti hain...

aur ye bi batain k kia ap usay pasand/mohabbat karti hain ya wo ap mai interested(love) ho gaya hai? kia aisi koi bat hai ? khali dosti hai ya shadi ka bi socha ja sakta hai ??

~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:20th Apr 2008, 5:15pm
 

Is Ka Matlab

Ye Hai K  Cheeku Ka Dost Cheeku Say Sincere Nahi Hai .......... kyunkay jo cheeku us say expect karta hai wo dost usay wo sab nahi deta hai ...........tou phir cheeku ko yehi chahiyai k wo us say dosti khatam karday...........jabkay dosri taraf cheeku apne dost say sincere hai magar cheeku ki ek baat ghalat hai k wo apni dost k saath ki hoye achi batoon ka badla bhi chahta hai.........magar cheeku ko ye nahi pata k us ka dost us say sincere nahi ............kya main nay sahi hia Mr my reply ?
Cheeku Group: Members  Joined: 16th Apr, 2008  Topic: 12  Post: 35  Age:  35  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 1:54am
 

Friendship: thanx to all of ur reply: my point of view

first of all to Josh: he left study 3 years ago and upon my advice/urge, he started.but to start further study, he needed some help.that i did.

example of behaviour:there are many, i just sending little example: few days ago, his mother called me to come at home.i told my friend that i will come at 5. his reply was:

1.Ab kia takleef hay jo aa rahay ho.

2.mujh say galian sunnay k liay ana hay.

his behaviour of such kind is temporary but it can hurt anyone.

why this behaviour?he thinks that he was doing allright,i urged his mother that he should do study & part time job.

what you all are missing: my major concern towards his mother, what should i reply to her.

 

josh Group: Members  Joined: 30th Jul, 2007  Topic: 47  Post: 2282  Age:  40  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 6:16am
 

Friendship....

oops u are a male while i was thinking that you are a female... not even a single time i feel that you can be male...
khair, In my opinion you are a nice & sincere friend, you tried to help your friend and you always think good for your friend... your friend is immature or may be in finacial problems and he is not realising that you are his true friend and u are doing all this just bcoz of his benefit.

if you think him a friend then you shouldn't finish friendship,, ye koi itni bari bat nai hai, k ab kia takleef hay etc is kisam ki baton ka hansi mazaak mai jawab day kar taala ja sakta hai balkay enjoy kia ja sakta hai...

tum dono ki dosti mai jo mushkil ban rahi ho wo sirf isi liye hai kyonkay tum dono k designation mai difference hai... tumharay sath baki log baray formal andaz mai baat kartay hongay, jabkay dosti mai formalities nai chaltin.... is liye ya to tum usay dost na banatay , ab agar bana lia hai to phir ye sab to bardasht karna chahiye..

agar manager ban kar us say bat karo gay to hurt hogay,, agar dost ban kar, waisay dost jaisay kabi school college k zamanay mai kisi k dost hua kartay they, waisay us say milo gay to phir ye batain buri nai lagain gi.. to bhai mere agar to ap dosti continue rakhna chatay ho to pehlay apnay zehan say ye bat nikal do k ap manager ho aur log apsay kaisay bat kartay hain.. dosra ye k apnay aapko, bohat baraa (age-wise) na samjho... dont treat him like a father or elder brother because he need a friend...

ho sakta hai wo financial problems ki waja say pareshan ho aur ab usay manage karna mushkil lag raha ho, asal situation to tum hi jantay ho..

tumnay jo kia, bohat acha kia, lekin agar usay rastay mai chhor do gay, thori bohat jitni usay help chahiye wo nai karogay to ye uskay sath ziadti hogi...

josh Group: Members  Joined: 30th Jul, 2007  Topic: 47  Post: 2282  Age:  40  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 6:22am
 

cheeku....

1.Ab kia takleef hay jo aa rahay ho.
2.mujh say galian sunnay k liay ana hay.

dosto mai hansi mazaak mai aisi batain hoti rehti hain ,, lagta hai tum bohat reserve kisam k, tanhaee pasand, insan ho aur kisi say dosti bi mushkil hi kartay ho... ab agar ye acha dost mila hai to isay bi chhornay ka soch rahay ho.. please dont finish this friendship, this friendship is good for both of you..

waisay would u like to tell us that who call you CHEEKU ?

razi_82 Group: Members  Joined: 16th Apr, 2008  Topic: 6  Post: 369  Age:  35  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 8:34am
 

josh

jazakaAllah aap ne bohat behtar tareeqay se roshni daali is maselay par aur bilkul sahi mashvara dia...

and akhir main ( kon aap ko cheeko bulata hay ) zabardast question ...hahahahaha

cheeku wese hay barha pyara lafz

Cheeku Group: Members  Joined: 16th Apr, 2008  Topic: 12  Post: 35  Age:  35  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 9:29am
 

Cheeku kon bulata hay: last question from my side

thanx to all of suggestions.i liked all.anyway, first of all i m not reserved person.people enjoy my company.main koe itna bari managerial position pe b nahin tha. 2 years ago, after completing masters, i joined Coca Cola as Management Trainee.then i was elevated as Assistant Manager (Finance).after serving 1 year, i left that.

cheeku kon bulata hay.good question.actually when i was registering on Noorclinic, it asked for name, so cheeku just click my mind.otherwise no matter.

last question: jab b kisi rishtay main darar aa jay, chahay wo ghar main rishta ho ya doston main, is it possible to restore that relation to its origional position.

 

~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 11:16pm
 

Cheeku

Wesay cheeku ajkal kya kilo mil rahay hain ........(lolz)
nelish Group: Members  Joined: 13th Jan, 2008  Topic: 25  Post: 1147  Age:  27  
Posted on:21st Apr 2008, 5:28pm
 

agreed to My Reply

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
zeb Group: Members  Joined: 18th Aug, 2007  Topic: 114  Post: 13598  Age:  36  
Posted on:22nd Apr 2008, 7:58am
 

cheekoo

im agreed to josh...unhon ne apko bohat hi achey tareekey se samjhaya hai

in fact mujhey to ab kuch kehney ki zaroorat nai hai...

bus yahi kehna chahta hun k doston mein to is bi ziada loose talk hoti hai...aur is tarhan ki baton ko mind nai kerna chahoiye....agar apko ye sub pasand nai tha to apko usey pehle hi bata dena chahiye tha k main formal rehna chahta hun....ap dono ki dosti jis tarha berhti gae, is mein koi formality ki bat hi nai hai .....

is liye mera mashwara yahi hai k ap dosti bilkul na choriye aur apne us dost ko pyar se samjhiye k aise baten nai kertey....aur phr bi agar wo na samjhey to ap is ko accept kijiye

sunehri76 Group: Members  Joined: 04th Aug, 2007  Topic: 100  Post: 4632  Age:  41  
Posted on:22nd Apr 2008, 8:10am
 

i agree

to josh&My Replay &zeb
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