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I Have No Confidence: Please Help Me

Social Problem   >>  Self Problem
   
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musheer Group: Members  Joined: 30th Jun, 2008  Topic: 5  Post: 6  Age:  26  
Posted on:15th Oct 2008, 2:45pm
 

I Have No Confidence: Please Help Me

Salam doctor sahab mera naam musheer he or me app sub logo se ye baat poochna chchte han ke mere ander confidence nahe he me kissi larki tak se baat kerte hue ghabrata hun

mere age 17 yera he or mere parants kehte han ke me parhai ke saat part time job bhi karoon or me do teen jaga interview ke liyegaya bhi lakin ghabrahat ki waja se sellect nahe hua please app sub logo or doctor sahab se request he ke aap sub mere is masle ka hal zaroor batayen ge me ap ke jawab ka intazaar... karon ga
"musheer"
Veer Group: Members  Joined: 12th Oct, 2011  Topic: 85  Post: 4723  Age:  34  
Posted on:15th Oct 2008, 6:43pm
 

musheer

confidence har insaan ke ander hota hai.lekin farak sirf itna hota hai kyun ose bahir nikaal lete hain aur kuch ander he chupa kar rakhte hain.confidence lane ke liye zaroori hai ke aap zaida se zaida mehfil mein betha karo.cell se kisi bhi help line par call kar ke kisi sim ke bare mein information liya karo.

jitni zaida aap logo se mele ge baatein kare ge aap mein confidence paida ho ga.rehi baat job ki to yeh achi baat hai ke aap study ke sath part time job bhi kare.aap ke ghar wale sehi kehte hain yeh koi buri baat nehin hai..

bhut se boys and girls study ke sath part time job bhi karte hain.apne paon pe khada hona achi baat hai.apne maa baap ka sahara bano na ke boj

jab aap job ke liye interview dene jate hain to yeh yaad rakhe ke interview koi saza nehin hai ke ager aap kuch galat bole ge to woh aap ko maare ge ya zaleel kare.zaida se zaida kya ho ga ke aap ko job nehin mele gi

interview dete waqt es baat ko zehan mein rakhe ke aap ke samne koi bhi nehin hai.aap ko koi nehin dekh raha.aap ke samne aak screen hai jis mein aap se kuch sawal pochey jaye ge aur aap ne os k jawab dene hain.

lehaza aap apne ander khud confidence paida kare.koi kaam duniya mein mushkil nehin sawaye paisa kamana.

s4u Group: Members  Joined: 18th Mar, 2011  Topic: 99  Post: 5380  Age:   
Posted on:16th Oct 2008, 8:01am
 

musheer

I agreed with Veer bhai...

inhu ne buhot achi advice ki.
sunny007 Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Dec, 2007  Topic: 44  Post: 4204  Age:   
Posted on:16th Oct 2008, 9:07am
 

agreed

me too agreed with veer
vicky81 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2008  Topic: 1  Post: 10  Age:  36  
Posted on:16th Oct 2008, 12:36pm
 

Re: musheer

You need to change your focus. The more you think yourself as a low confidence person, the more your self esteem goes down. Forget thinking about these matters, you will notice that you can deal the matters as normal people do. 

Is chatting with a girl, the only thing you consider to be a confident man? There are lots of radio/tv programs in which female DJs take live calls. You can try talking to one of these ladies.

vicky81 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2008  Topic: 1  Post: 10  Age:  36  
Posted on:16th Oct 2008, 12:37pm
 

Re: musheer

...MOD EDIT: Removed duplicate post...


sweet iman Group: Members  Joined: 29th Oct, 2011  Topic: 0  Post: 8  Age:  27  
Posted on:29th Oct 2011, 10:27am
 

my problem

Aoa,meri problem b ye ha.k mere andr confidnc ki bht kami ha.ma bolti b bht am hu..mera kahe jane ksi se bolne ka dl nae krta.mane kahe jaa ho ya kisi neana ho mera dil zor se dhrkna shru kr data..aur drd bhi hona shuru ho jati ha.me apni famly ma beth k even apne parntsse b baten nae krti..aawazar rehti hunrone ko dil krta ha..logo me beth to jao baten nae hoti krne ko...kya bolon smj ma nae ati.ma hasi mazak b krna chahti bt dil udas.nakhush rehta...ma uni join kie 3 dn hwa hn..ma clas ma b chup rhti hun.phle meri fnd sth thi bt ab sec change hogya..clas ma koe techr swal ya koe wase bat poch lay to dar lgta k mjse na poch ly.poch lia to kya bolo gi...mje bolne b nae ata..ma zayda dosten bnana chahti hu.khud b eergetic cnfidnt hna chahti.bt kase banu.cnfuse sharmai ghbrai rhti hn..mera uni ma b dl nae lgta..dosto m beth k kam bolti hun...ma clas a bbolna chahti bt nae bol skti..mane jana ho kahe b mera dl nae krta..ma kya kru..ma girlz clg ma b reh k ye halt thi.bt ab co uni hai.ma kase jao..ma uni prhna b chati hu.bt ase kase ?mera rone ko dl krta..ksi se b bat krne ko dl nae krta...ma kya krun...

effy jee Group: Members  Joined: 30th Oct, 2011  Topic: 0  Post: 1  Age:  29  
Posted on:30th Oct 2011, 9:35pm
 

help me plz

Mujhay koi aise dawai batain jis ki 1 khurak se he mera nafs bekar ho jaye aur kuch bhe ho is main hoshiyari na aye plz
psychdoc Group: Members  Joined: 04th Mar, 2011  Topic: 11  Post: 1581  Age:  37  
Posted on:31st Oct 2011, 5:03am
 

Sweet Iman:

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Aap na apni jo situation batai hai woh waqai aap ke quality of life ko effect kar rahee hai. Aap ko 2 mukhtalif magar kisi had tak related problems hain.

Aap ke first problem hai social phobia. Yeh aik anxiety disorder hai, jis mein basic fear yeh hota hai keh kisi bhee social situation mein centre of attention nah ban jaian, kiyonkeh, social phobia say effected log apna aap ko doosran say inferior aur incompetent feel kartay hain, jiski wajah say unka dil mein yeh darr baith jaata hai keh agar doosron ka darmian bolna parra ( speech/presentation etc) to doosray log hamara mazaq banain gay. Issi liya, social phobia sey effected log zyada tar iss koshish mein rehta hain keh kahin unko koi presentaion nah karni par jae, yaa class mein koi question unsay nah pooch liya jae. Aap ke bhee yehi situation hai.
jaisa keh mein nay pehla bataya, social phobia aik anxiety disorder hai, magar jab yeh anxiety properly treat nah ke jae to phir iss ka saath saath depression bhee develop ho jaati hai ( which is your second problem). Iss depression kay symptom shota hain har waqt afsurda rehna, lack of interest in activities, alag thalag rehna, tearfulness, self blame, guilt etc etc.

Social phobia aur depression ka proper treatment karwana bohot zaroori hai warna aap apni life ko fully enjoy nahin kar sakain gee, aur ho sakta hai keh aap ke studies bhee effected hon.
Social phobia aur depression kay treatment options hain cognitive behavior therapy ( CBT), which is a form of talk therapy. Iska illawa bohot se medicines bhee in conditions ko treat karna ka liya use ke jaati hain aur bohot effective hoti hain.
I wish you all the best.



sweet iman Group: Members  Joined: 29th Oct, 2011  Topic: 0  Post: 8  Age:  27  
Posted on:31st Oct 2011, 6:38pm
 

psychdoc

thnk uo so mch for reply.... sir mje apni halat pe bht rona ata hai...aur ma apne apne depression ki wjah se apni body ma pain feel krti hun..mje lgta mje ak din heartatak ho jae ga...ma har chez se bhagti hun...ma chahti hun kbi suba naho mje suba university jana prega...and how i wl survive..?ma apni studies ko b efctkr rae hun..k mind fresh nae...jst feelng bore..dul..upset...apko shyad hasi aa rahi ho k kya bchon wala reaction ha..bt ye sb q mere sath hai...mje apne ap pe kbi afsos ata k kya hun ma apni mama papa se b kch b share nae kr pati....asi bhiksi k sath kbi situation hwe ha?chalo kch apne frnz se dscuss kr letay hain..bt ma to wo b nae kr pati...mera damag phatne lgta...m very disheart....apne mje CBT ka btaya..ap mje icke mtaiq kch info dain plz...aur ager medicne b btasken to plz tel me...aur kya medicn k bagair mera normal react krna mumkin hai?
psychdoc Group: Members  Joined: 04th Mar, 2011  Topic: 11  Post: 1581  Age:  37  
Posted on:1st Nov 2011, 4:42am
 

Sweet iman:

You are very welcome.

Aap na jo apni situation batai hai, mujha koi doubt nahin keh aap waqai issi kafiat say guzar rahi hain. I am sure keh woh choti choti batain ya cheezain jo dosray logon ka liya shayed koi zaada ahamiat nah rakhti hon, woh aap ka liya kitni barri struggle ban gae hain. I am sure keh aap overwhelmed feel kar rahee hain aur life ke choti choti cheezain aap ko aik struggle lag rahe hain. Aur jab aap doosray logon say apna aap ko compare karti hon gee to aur zyada self blame aur apna aap par ghussa aur taras aata ho gaa keh aap doosra "normal" logon ke tarah kiyoon nahin. Iska saath saath yeh ahsaas bhee keh aap apni in feelings aur anxieties ko kisi say discuss bhee nahin kar sakteen keh saamna wala aap ka baaray mein kiya kahe gaa. Mein aap ki situation ko bohot achee tarah samajh sakta hoon, and I want to give you hope.

Sab say pehli baat keh social phobia aik relatively common condition hai jo approximately 2-5 % logon ko effect karti hai, in varying degrees of severity ( kehna ka matlab yeh keh aap ka saath saath dunya mein laakhon karorron aur log bhee issi tarah ke problem face kar rahe hain). Aik aur baat jo mein aap ka batana chahta hoon woh yeh keh social phobia koi laa ilaaj marz nahin, aur proper treatment say aap normal life guzaar sakin gee, free from your fears and anxieties. Aik aur fact yeh hai keh social phobia say effected log yeh samajhtay hain keh unki jo situation hai uss mein unka apna hee qusoor hai, aur iss wajah say woh aur zyada self blame aur guilt ka shikaar hona lagta hain, jabkeh haqeeqat yeh hai keh social phobia brain kay ander chemicals ( neurotransmitters) ka imbalance ke wajah say hota hai. Kehna ka matlab yeh keh agar kisi person ko diabetes ho jae ( jo keh insulin levels ke abnormality ke wajah say hoti hai) to iss mein uss banda ka apna koi qusoor nahin ho gaa, bilkul issi tarah social phobia brain mein chemical imbalance ke wajah say hota hai aur iss mein aap ka koi bhee qusoor nahin, iss liya apna aap ko aur blame nah karain.

Aaian ab kuch iska treatment options ke baat kar lain.
Jaisa keh mein nay pehla bataya, isska 2 treatment options hain. Agar aap medicines nahin khana chateen to aik khaas tarah ke talk therapy jisa CBT kehta hain, woh use ke jaati hai. Basically, CBT mein aap ke soch ( thoughts) aur unka nateeja mein paida hona waali feelings kay baaray mein discuss kiya jaata hai. For example, agar aaap class mein haan aur teacher koi sawal karna waalay hain, to aap ke zehan mein automatically yeh negative thoughts aaian gee keh aap sawal ka jawab daita hoa ghabra jaen gee aur apna tamasha bana lain gee, aur iss thought kay result mein aap kay ander extreme anxiety ke feelings develop hon gee. CBT ka zarya in negative thoughts ko positive thoughts mein change kiya jaata hai aur phir anxiety kee feelings khod ba khod sukoon aur itminaan ke feelings mein change ho jaati hain. Generally, iska treatment 12-14 weeks long hota hai, once a week.
Agar aap ka social phobia bohot zyada severa hai, to aap medicine ka option use kar sakte hain. Yeh medicines once daily laini hoti hain aur yeh brain ke chemical imbalance ko correct kar daiti hain. Forum par medicine ka naam batani ke ijaazat nahin hai, baharhaal mein aap ko itna zaroor bata sakta hoon keh medicines atleast six months tak khana hoti hain, even though aap ko medicine shorow karna kay 2-4 weeks mein hee bohot improvement ho jae gee.

Aap hopeless nah feel karain, aur apni condition ko improve karnay ka liya practical steps lain, inshaallah you will succeed.
My best wishes to you.



sweet iman Group: Members  Joined: 29th Oct, 2011  Topic: 0  Post: 8  Age:  27  
Posted on:18th Nov 2011, 10:31pm
 

psychdoc

tnx so much sir...mje apki batain bht achi lgi hn,,i wl try my bst..aur maneapne apko in bato k zreye b himt wala bnane ki koshish ki ha..apki adv i thnk tretmnt se b zyda advntge dainge mje...ALLAH apko khushrakhay..tnx..n pray fa me
psychdoc Group: Members  Joined: 04th Mar, 2011  Topic: 11  Post: 1581  Age:  37  
Posted on:20th Nov 2011, 1:43pm
 

Sweet iman:


You are very welcome.

I am glad that I was able to be of some help to you. I wish you the very best on the road to freedom from your anxieties.
Raadie Group: Members  Joined: 06th Jul, 2012  Topic: 1  Post: 4  Age:  25  
Posted on:6th Jul 2012, 9:51pm
 

sweed iman plz i need ur help contact me

sweet iman yeh id mai ne ap k lie register ki hia kyun k ham donu ka problem 101% same hai pura 1 saal mai ne zaya kiya issi problem ki waja se phir ghar walun k kehne [pr aaj e mai punjab uni men entry test form submit kr k aya hun lakin mujhe phir se wohi tension ho rahi hai k presentation kon dega confidence kaise aeyga mujhe bht ghabrahat horai hai mujhe lgta hai k hamen ek dusre ki help krni chahiye
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