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Marriage With 4 Years Eleder Girl: Need Your Advice Again

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ferryahmed Group: Members  Joined: 01st Nov, 2007  Topic: 5  Post: 17  Age:  37  
Posted on:22nd Feb 2008, 2:21am

Marriage With 4 Years Eleder Girl: Need Your Advice Again

hi folks....

im the same ferryahmed who discussed the problem of wanting to marry a girl 4 years elder than me. many members gave me their valuable advice for which im thankful.

gyz....i talke to my parents....everybody is fine except my father. i showed them the pic of the girl as mom and sis said that shes fine on her own but looks odd with me as they say i look much younger than my age...and thats the fact...although im 26...

my dad has refused this marraige straightaway and hes stick to his decision very very strongly. he is not ready even to listen anything abt this topic again. he want me to finishi this thing and forget everything at once, which i cannot. I am still in contact with my mother who is trying to convince my dad in every way she can....bcz she want me to stay happy. my mom is okay with me....although she said that the girl will look odd with me but even though shes 100% helpful. i have asked my mother to go to her home and meet her personally....bcz i think seeing someone in the picture is much much diferent then meeting them face to face. once my mom meet her and if she thinks that she looks fine herself....then she might convince my dad to see her as well. but now my dad is thinkign that she might be like very old looking lady who doesnt fit with me.

if my dad also get convinced then things might change for me....but for now....the bigest challenge im facing is to convince my father, who is not even willing to listen to me on this topic. another option is....if i do istakhara....and get any positive result....then it can be the only way which can change my fathers decision, but im afraid of doing that bcz if i get anything negative....then all this is gonna end straightaway.

guyz....whatever the ppl say....i dont care as really relly love that girl.....i dont care abt the things that shes elder to me and she will look odd with me. the only thing i know is that i will live a very very happy life with her, no mater what how she looks.

my father says that marrying an elder girl creates long term problems bcz they say that she'll get old and i'll stay young. But i dont think this gonna create any problem bcz we both loev each other and looks doesnt play any part in this. plus....when i'll be married to ek sath rehne ki mohabbat bhi to hogee...phir bachey hon to bacho ki mohabbat bhi beech mein hoti all these thinsg are able enough to keep our marraige successful. plus...i am damn sure that she will give me so much love that i wont ever regret my decision.

plz give me soem advice that what shud i doin this i need any expert opinion that marrying elder girl really creates any problems in the long run? plz tell me biologically and medically? bcz i just dont wana let her go just bcz of this bloody age diference.

waiting for ur comments guyz....cheerz..

Hangama Group: Members  Joined: 02nd Dec, 2007  Topic: 39  Post: 1284  Age:  42  
Posted on:22nd Feb 2008, 6:20pm


Sorry mai abhi reply nahi karonga. Magar members ap mai sai to koi reply karo enkoo yar.
m.shah Group: Members  Joined: 26th Mar, 2008  Topic: 1  Post: 24  Age:  39  
Posted on:29th Mar 2008, 10:22am

Just Pray

Ok its not a problem with girl as u said she is good looking and even you mom and sisters are ok with her appearance. Its a problem with you why u look like so young at the age of 26 (LOL)


Well u rightly said that ages should be matter and its not really in any term either biologically or medically.


Now the problem is agree you father. Which I dont know how u can convince him? I think being as a Muslim you can convince through references or if u have any live & successful example in you family friends or in relatives. This will make it easier for you to defend you position.


About istekhara, I would say if u get negative answer means NO then please please dont go ahead. If Istekhara says YES it means u can go ahead if you want (but no obligation to go head) but in the case where its NO then u should stay away from that particular action. Because its not gonna be beneficial for you.


We can only pray that May Allah grant you what u are wish for and make it beneficial for you for the rest of your life.


Lastly I would say in light of my personal experience that its not necessary the person u like you are going to get marry with him/her.  Allah knows best and we should only pray that O Allah give us whats best for us and refine us what is bad for us. (Aameen).  And it has proved true in my personal life in same scenario.


Allah Hafiz


M. Shah

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