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Mental Unrelaxsation: I Need Serious Comments

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fazia Group: Members  Joined: 21st Apr, 2007  Topic: 14  Post: 47  Age:  32  
Posted on:12th Mar 2008, 8:00am
 

Mental Unrelaxsation: I Need Serious Comments

Aik bat jo mjhy bohat iritate kar rhi hy,ap logon sy share karna chahti hon.sahyad k koi mjhy is matter main help kar saky.

Samajh nahin aa rahi k  kahan sy btaon.

Ok let me tell in v simple  way.actly a 26 years old guy proposed me 4 marrige,main achi tarha janti hon k log flirt b hoty hain but idea ho jata hy.or mjhy apni limitations ka pata hy or usy b.humain aik dooosry ko jany howay 5 months ho gay hain.or in 5 months main hmari 4 meetins hoin hain restaurants main. wo doosry city main rahta hy.hmara mostly telephonic contact rahta hy or baton sy kon sa flirt ho saka hy.

Wo aik acha,mature n decent person hy.wo  aik jaaiz relation banana chahta hy.jo qualities main ny kbhi apny lifepartner main sochi thin ,wo us main hain,he is decent,welll educated,understands me,cheezon ko positively laita hy..respectable job hy,acha earn karta hy.daikhny main b sahi hy though  not very goodlooking.

Ab masla ye hy k sometimes to mjhy lagta hy k main usy like karti hon even sometimes mujhy aisa lagta hy k I have love for him.sometimes to main satisfied hoti hon but  sometimes main bohat unsatisfied ho jati hon.main  achi tarha janti hon k aik achi married life  k liye achi understanding,aik dosry ko samjhna or aik doosry k emotions ka khiyal rakhna zarori hota hy ye sab us bandy main hy bhi. But phir b jany q aik ajeeb si unsatisfaction hoti hy.mujhy khud ko b samajh nahin aati.may b I was  expecting a very handsom man.wo daikhny main acha hy.face wise wo serious n mature dikhta hy.wo  kahta hy k usy bar bar "love u  , love u" kahna nahin aata.

 

Is ki aik wajh ye b ho sakti hy k jab meri life main wo nahin aya tha to main is period ko bohat idealise karti thi k jab ap kisi sy inlove hoty hain.main samjhti thi k agr koi meri life main aya to main bohat passionately us sy inlove ho jaon gi but ab jab k who hay to meri felings main wo passion nahin hy.liking ki ye  feelings mujh py hawi nahin hain.meri friends kahti hain k u  r lucky k tmhari feelings itni shadeed nahin hain,hawi nahin hain tum py but.

main usy looks  main doosry logon say compare karny lagti hon,meri friends kahti hain k tum us ki appearance ko na consider karo,us ki sincerity n devotion ko consider karo.

(main phir ye kahon gi k wo daikhny main acha khasa hy,ALLAH maafi dy koi defect b nahin hy)

I know k main agr usy apni unsatisfaction ka  baton to wo is bat ko understand kary ga.balky aik bar us ny kaha b tha k ager main us sy satisfied nahin hon to it's no problem.im free to end this relation.

Is k baawjood main is relation ko khatm nahin karna chahti coz  wo mujhy bohat understand karta hy.main us k sath aik achi life guzaaar sakti hon.is k bawjood unsatisfaction hy.

 

Plz help me out.main sirf is bat sy khofzada hon  k kahin after marriage bhi main unsatisfied naa rahon,dil ki tishnagi baqi na rahy.coz dil ki tishnagi mujhy bohat irritate karti hy.(main yahan physical satisfaction ki baat nahin kr rahi.dil ki unsatisfaction ki bat kar rahi hon)

Sometimes mujhy lagta hay k main pagal ho jaaon gi is unsatisfaction ki wajah sy.

I need serious comments from serious people.

 

~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:12th Mar 2008, 8:31am
 

Fazia Sister

1. App Ki Post parh k main nay ye andaza lagaya hai k app ko us larkey say is liyain kabhi kabhi unsatisfy hojati hain..........k kahin wo flirt na nilklay .........

2. aur dosra andaza ye hai k shayad app us ki looks/appearance say satisfy nahi hain aur koi mazaeed handsome aur good looking larkay ko apna life partner imagine karti hain .......is hi liyain jab app us larkay ko dosray larkon say compare karti hain tou app unsatisfy hojaati hain..............

ab atay hain solution ki janib............

agar app ko pehli wali unsatifaction hai tou us ka simple solution ye hai k app us larkay k ghar walon say jakar milain aur apne parents ko bhi unkay parents say milawaye ...... is tarha app ko andaza hojaye ga k larka sahi hai ya ghalat ........sahi hoga tou uskay parents appko accept karlain gay ........ghalat hoga tou wo apne parents say nahi milwaye ga ya uskay parents appko accept nahi karaingay aur flirt wali baat samnay ajaye gi

agar app ko dosri wali unsatisfaction hai ..........tou app apne zehen say is baat ko foran nikaal dijiyai k khobsurat larkay ki seerat bhi uski khobsurti ki tarha khobsurat hogi.........jab appko aesa banda mil raha hai jo upper medium khobsurat bhi hai aur decent well educated aur appko understand karnay wala banda hai with respectible job ......plus appko wo pasand bhi hai .........aur app usko 5 months main achi tarha jaan bhi gaye hongi .........tou phir aur kya chahiyai........agar app ye kahain gi k main abhi pori tarha us ko nahi jaan paye tou take your time and search him more..............

kahin ye naho k zyada ki hawas main app k haath kuch bhi na lagay ..........

app k reply ka muntazir .................


zeb Group: Members  Joined: 18th Aug, 2007  Topic: 114  Post: 13598  Age:  36  
Posted on:13th Mar 2008, 6:03am
 

faiza

im 1000000000000% agree with hitman....his reply is very wise....aur unhon ne bilkul sahi predict ki hain problems...aur un ka solution bi bilkul sahi bataya hai...

dear faiza, dekhiye ek bat to ye yad rakhiye ga k her cheez ka milna bohat mushkil hota hai....is liye to kaha jata hai k insan ko kabhi bhi itni ziada expectations nai lagani chahiye k wo poori hi na ho...aur agar wo poori na hon to insan ko takleef na ho....dekhiye, let suppose agar apko future mein koi handsome, gudlooking ya ap ka ideal larka mil jata hai to ho skta hai k wo character ka itna acha na ho, ya itna welleducated na ho, ya us ki family achi na ho, ya apki family ko wo pasand na aye, ya ap dono ki understanding ziada na ho....to phir ap kia kereyn gi....

So i just wana say k zaroori nai k wo her lehaz se bilkul corect ho....jesa ap sochti hain bilkul wesa hi ho...aur ye bi ho skta hai k jesa ap chahti hai wo bilkul wesa hi ho....lekin ye to naseeb ki bat hai na phir....

lekin dear abhi jo hai, ap usey to pehle achi tarhan se judge ker lo...ye na ho k ap isey bi mana ker do aur bad mein ap ko koi acha miley hi na.....so itni jaldi faisla kerney se pehle kafi socho...sub kuch dekho....jo baten hitman ne batayi hain main us se agree kerta hun...

aur un dono cases mein apko us k ghar walon se zaroor milna chahiye aur ab ye dekhney ki koshish kereyn k us ghar walon ki us k barey mein kia raye hai, us k ghar waley kese hain, family kesi hai....thora time un k sath bi spend kereyn, is se bi apko kafi andaza ho jaye ga k wo larka kesa hai aur us ki family kesi hai.....us k sath sath apne ghar walon se bi un ko milayen aur larkay se bi un ko milayen...ap k parents ne ap se ziada zindagi dekhi hai aur wo ziada achi tarha se cheezon ko judge ker payen gey....aur wese bi shadi k liye sirf larka aur larki ka mila nai hota, balke ye 2 families ka bi to milap hai na....to dono families ko bi ek dusrey se milna zaroori hai.....in sub cheezon ko dekh ker ap faisla keryen k ap ko kia kerna hai.....agar ap phir bi unsatisfied ho to mana ker dijiye ga us larkay ko aur phir parents ko bi dekhey k us k bad  wo kia faisla kertey hain

josh Group: Members  Joined: 30th Jul, 2007  Topic: 47  Post: 2282  Age:  40  
Posted on:13th Mar 2008, 7:05am
 

hawas.......

"kahin ye naho k zyada ki hawas main app k haath kuch bhi na lagay .........."

achay ki talash aur khuahish har insan ko hoti hai , isay hawas nahi kaha ja sakta....

fazia Group: Members  Joined: 21st Apr, 2007  Topic: 14  Post: 47  Age:  32  
Posted on:13th Mar 2008, 11:44pm
 

re:mental unrelaxation

 

Thanx to all u people for considering my problem n replying.

 

 

Reply to hitman: I agree with ur second assumption.ya I also think im unsatisfied with his looks.I know k main aik gair aham cheeez k pechy apna dil unsatisfy kar rahi hon.

Main khud bhi is baat sy darti hon k kahin main zahri husan k peachy aisy  insaan ko naa kho don jis ka batin bohat khubsurat hy.

 

Reply to zeb: thanx zeb for ur comments.

 

Reply to josh: u r rite in ur point of view.khoob sy khoob tar ki taalash bohat sy insaaanon ki khwahish hoti hy  but sometimes insaan bohat achy ki khwahish main munh k bul b gir jata hy.or main girny sy hi darti hon.

 

Khuch log aisy hoty hain k jo ye janty bhi hain k zahiri husan waqti hota hy or achi life gyzarny k liye sirf zahir hi nahin baatin bhi acha hona chahye,is k baawjud wo zahir sy aksar impress ho jaty hain.main bhi shayad unhi logon main sy hon.jo k bohat galat bat hay meri.

Mera ye har giz  matlab nahin k wo bilkul b attractive  nahin hy.wo acha khaasa hy or kisi bhi larki ka ideal ho sakta hy.us main wo sab qualities hain jo aik achy lifepartner main honi chahiyan.bas bat itni si hy k shayad wo mery satisfaction level ko touch nahin kar paya physical appearance main.

Mujhy dar sirf is bat ka hy kahin aisa na ho k mujhy us sy shadi k baad sari life isi unrelaxation k sath na guzarni pary.main chahti hon k mera dil mukamal tor par satisfy ho jaaey or us k mukably py agr dunya ka haseen tareen banda b aa jaey to mujhy farq na pary.Mujhy ye b dar hy k kahin main khoob ki talash main baatni husan naaa khoo don.

Is k bawjud main umeed karti hon k agr ALLAH ny usy hi mera naseeb banaya hy to maera dil us py completely  satisfy ho jaaeyy gaa INSAHAALAH.

Ap log bhi mery liye dooa kijaye ga k wo jo bhi ho wo mery liye or main us k liye dunya or akhrat k lihaaz sy bahtar hon or is main hmary liye satisfaction b ho.

 

take care

~~HITMAN~~ Group: Members  Joined: 09th May, 2011  Topic: 122  Post: 4238  Age:  32  
Posted on:13th Mar 2008, 11:55pm
 

Fazia

Fazia , meray khayal main appko apne beleives ko change karnay ki zarorat hai ...........agar app aesa nahi karaingi tou yakeen kijiyai app hameesha unsatisfy rahin gi .......is liyain is baat ko accept kijiyai k appko jo mil raha hai jesa mil raha hai wo lakhon say acha hai ....... aur Allah talah say dua kijiyai k wo appko shukar guzaar banaye.......na kay nashukra

mainay upper pehley jo khayaal zahir kiya hai ........us par bhi agar app nazar saani karlain tou acha hoga .......kyunkay flirt is hi tarha hotay hain ....wo kehtay hain na chikni chupri batain ......wo yehi batain hoti hain jin say app assani say phas jatay ho......(main usko flirt nahi bol raha magar try karne main koi harj nahi hai agar app agree hon mujh say tu)..........................

baki Allah talah behtar jantay hain ........Meri dua hai Allah Talah app ko har museebat say bachaye .......ameen........Allah neghebaan
BeautyStar Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2007  Topic: 52  Post: 3584  Age:  30  
Posted on:13th Mar 2008, 3:22pm
 

Re: Faiza....

As'salam-O-Aluikum,

Dear Sister , App ne buhat hi interesting se situation biyaan ki hai... merey tou khudh samajh nahi aaraha hai kah kiya likhoon... Kyun kah eak taraf app ka Dil kahta hai kah ussey jaane mat doo tou dosre taraf demagh kahta hai kah ussey jaane doo... App k Dil - O - Demagh kah zabardast clash ho gaya hai... Abb faislah app ko hi karna hai kah Dil ki baat suney ya phir demagh ki.

Mera personal view yahi hai kah jitne Qualities app ne bataein hain agar woh saach much hai tou phir Larka buhat hi acha hai or woh kisi larki ka bhi ideal ho saktah hai.. Jiss tarah Har koi apne Maan se buhat pyaar karta chahey duniyah ki nazar ma uss ki maan kitne hi buri or badsurat kyun na hoo... issi tarah har larki bhi Husband k character se pyar karte hai na kah appearance se.. kyun kah Apperance & Attraction tou waqt k saath saath khatam ho jatey hai... lekin Character acha hoona yah Eternal Beauty hai.. Aagaey app ki marzi hai...?

Waisey joo bhi Failah lein apne bardoon or Parents ki rehnumai ma lein.... Baqee ALLAH malik hai.

Take care,
ALLAH Hafiz...!
uetian31 Group: Members  Joined: 18th Mar, 2008  Topic: 20  Post: 1006  Age:  36  
Posted on:18th Mar 2008, 7:54pm
 

DON'T Even think of any RELATION

HELLO sis iam telling u univeral truth, please please dont even think of getting involve before shaadi.....ye pyaar kuch nai hota insan ko pagloun ki terha rulata hay...if he is OK in every espect to usy kaho k aprents ko bhejy bus dont think anything else, koi insan b perfect nai hota and make sure that b4 getting involve U BOTH CAN GET MARRIED!!!! i know u wont like my advice at all but tht is a fact, may allah help u:)
m.shah Group: Members  Joined: 26th Mar, 2008  Topic: 1  Post: 24  Age:  38  
Posted on:29th Mar 2008, 9:58am
 

just my thoughts

Hi Faiza,

 

I have read only your post completely not the others replies so I cant comments on their replies or suggestion.

 

Good-looking doesnt count so dont worry. He should be loving, caring and sincere with you. Thats all each partner should look into each other rather going on external appearance.

 

I would say that Islam gives you permission to chose your partner and seek for qualities u desire but Allah dont give every quality to each person. If some one is with normal face and physic so he might have been given some other qualities and visa versa.

 

So dont go for external and materialist views. Just pray to Allah that may Allah grant you sincere husband and sincere partner to everyone.

 

Thats good that u havent been over emotional because that could create several problems in your future life and create unnecessary expectation in once mind at earlier stage and later other partner find it difficult to fulfils once expectation. So dont be over emotional, think seriously all the aspect and challenges u might have to face even the fact if you get marry with him and if he asks for relocation, would you be able to leave you place and parents. All these seem childes stuff but these truly matters.

 

Lastly I would say in light of my personal experience that its not necessary the person u like you are going to get marry with him/her.  Allah knows best and we should only pray that O Allah give us whats best for us and refine us what is bad for us. (Aameen).  And it has proved true in my personal life in same scenario. So I would recommend you to do so.

 

And stop comparing with others and be grateful what Allah grants you rather complaining and comparing with others as its only creates discomfort in life and we never know whats happening in others life. (May Allah give us courage to understand his wisdom)

 

Couple of few points (Please dont think I am discouraging you)

 

1. U explained his some very vital qualities but how sure you are if these really exists. Being a guy I can surly say that when guyz talk to some one with opposite gender 90% they pretend and especially when they are with someone special.

 

So watch you back especially when he doesnt live in same city so its going to be hard to get an actual facts for you and u have been with him just for 5 months.

 

2. U have to consider your family. Lets suppose you satisfy yourself but will u be able to satisfy your family that he is a nice guy so and so?

 

Well its too long and I suppose some of our readers dont believe on all of these. So best of luck for your future life and use your mind and stop listening you DIL.

 

Allah Hafiz

M. Shah

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