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Parents Choice: Why They Do That?

Social Problem   >>  Culture and Society
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Old friend Group: Members  Joined: 27th Dec, 2007  Topic: 2  Post: 5  Age:  33  
Posted on:14th Feb 2008, 9:10am

Parents Choice: Why They Do That?

Hi friends,

Some parents usually pressurise children to choose this but not that, wear this but not that, do this but not that etc. yeah I understand, mostly they say this for the betterment of their child but, for instance, any child's parents are doctor, so they want their child to choose medical education in future, even he is interested in arts or anyother field. They don't let them to select their own way.

Don't U people feel tht is this right? Or its only me who thinks in this way. If U ask me, my parents gave me  free hand to select any field of my interest, even i know that  my father wanted me to become a journalist but after seeing my interest, he didnt pressurise me. On the other hand, my best friend's parents want her to complete her master's in public administration but she loves to be something in homeEconomics field, as she has a creative mind. Further she has already engaged last year so there is no chance for implementing or using her public administration knowledge after marriage, as her in laws does not want her to do a job etc.

Again the question rise..

Why Parents make their child to do or select education (specially) against their interest?

I know some of U people living a life like

-- " Me Against Myself" --

May God bless U all
nadeem AOL Group: Members  Joined: 26th Nov, 2007  Topic: 8  Post: 265  Age:  35  
Posted on:17th Feb 2008, 10:37pm

Old Friend !!

Yes, you are right that parents do this to their children which is not good. But you realize it also that they do it for the betterment of their children, for example, if I m a successful doctor then why would I let my children to choose a field which is not profitable for them. So, I think that this sense of insecurity drive them to pressurize their children to choose a field which may be against their childrens will.


On the other hand, parents who realize that for their children a field could be better in which their children are interested, they let them to choose their interest.


Selection, be it career, life partner or anything, result in long term being favourable or unfavourable. Your parents may be right in whatever they made you to choose or vice versa and You may be right in whatever you have chosen for yourself or vice versa. I think a good counseling is needed to make a realistic decision regarding whatever issues we have and unfortunately we dont have such a system which would help us out in such situations.


I have been listening from my friends that :-


Himmat hay tu zamanay say baghawat ker lo, werna

Jahan maan baap kehtay hain shaadi ker lo               hehehehehehe


First step is to ensure yourself that whatever decision you have taken is best for you, then be confident and determined about whatever you have decided and just do it. What do you think ?



Old friend Group: Members  Joined: 27th Dec, 2007  Topic: 2  Post: 5  Age:  33  
Posted on:28th Feb 2008, 7:35am

thanks for your reply

Well honestly, i was not expecting anyone's reply ..

But i feel that "just do it" attitude could not be successful in our eastern culture. Mostly parents feel their children as a last hope of their retirement life, and if you will go in details, you will feel that why boys do marriage in a very late age and etc etc etc. I hope U can get my point.

nadeem AOL Group: Members  Joined: 26th Nov, 2007  Topic: 8  Post: 265  Age:  35  
Posted on:28th Feb 2008, 2:55pm


Its also good to have your reply after 10 long days.

I can understand that what happens in our society but it does not mean that it's good. At least we should know our rights & responsibilities and after that you have 100% free if you want to sacrifice your rights for your family and i think that's the beauty of our culture also that we regard our relations.

I think that if we are sure that we can "just do it" then it makes us easy at mind and it reduces the sense of helplessness as we feel some times being a girl or boy in front of the decisions of our parents, but this is the respect and love out of which we surrender to them.

Hope i made my point clear.

Bewaqoof Group: Members  Joined: 19th Sep, 2010  Topic: 264  Post: 4719  Age:  43  
Posted on:6th Dec 2009, 4:47pm

waldain sirf aur sirf apni satisfaction chahte hai

har koi sirf apni khooshi aur satisfaction chahta hai. parents bhi jo kuch apni aulad ke liye kerte hai woh apni personal satisfaction ke liye kerte hai. aulad ki bhalayee ke liye nahi kerte aur na hi woh jo kuch apni aulad ke liye kerte hai woh aulad per ehsaan hota hai.

aulad darasal parents ka khilona hote hai, woh iss khilona se khailte hai aur enjoy kerte hai, woh poori zindagi apni aulad ke liye sirf aur sirf wahi kerte hai jis se on ki apni zaati satisfaction hoti hai. woh apni zati satisfaction ke iye os ka name apni pasand se rakhte hai, woh kabhi bhi yeh nahi sochte keh os ka bachcha bara ho ker os name ko kaisa feel kare ga.

woh apni zati satisfaction ke liye aise dress dete hai jis mai dekh ker onhai khooshi hoti hai, woh apni satisfaction ke liye os ka mazhab aur maslak apne jaisa banane ke liye brain wash kerte hai, aur doosre mazhab aur maslak ke khilaf brain wash kerte hai.

woh ose apni marzi ki taleem dilate hai, aur apni hi marzi ki bahoo laana chahte hai. baaz waldain ki satisfaction iss mai hoti hai keh os ki aulad khood apna career talash kare, aur khood apne liye bivi le ker aaye. tu aisa lagta hai jaise woh apni khooshi nahi balkeh bachche ki khooshi chahte hai. lekin haqeeqat yeh hai keh aisa sirf woh log kerte hai jin ko aisa kerne ma satisfaction hoti hai.

waldain sirf aur sirf apni satisfaction ke liye bachcho ki perwarish, taleem aur tarbiat kerte hai. on ki apni khahish hoti hai keh os ka bachcha aala taleem yafta ho tu woh ose zamin aur zewar bech ker taleem delate hai, aur jab kisi waldain ka dil chahta hai keh os ki aulad taleem hasil na kare balkeh sarko per bheek mange tu woh ose taleem dilane ki bajaye os se bheek mangwate hai (beshumar faqeer dolatmand hote hai aur woh apne bachche ko taleem dila sakte hai, lekin taleem dilane ki bajaye os se bheek mangwate hai)

waldain sirf aur sirf apni satisfaction chahte hai.

sunehri76 Group: Members  Joined: 04th Aug, 2007  Topic: 100  Post: 4632  Age:  42  
Posted on:17th Dec 2009, 2:03pm


ache waldain sirf apne bachon ki bhalai sochte hain.

aur har parents ka apni soch ke mutabik ek mayar hota hai.aksar jo parents doctor s ya buisnessman,lawyer hote hain, wo apni aulad se bhi kabhi kabhar yehi expect karte hain.. jo ke kcuh parents is expectation me selfish ho jate hain.aur apni aulad pe dabao dalne lag jate hain. lekin iske piche bhi unka maksad sirf apni aulad ki bhalai hota hai.

wo apni aulad ko ek unche mayar pe dekhne ke khwaishmand hote hain.

agar Bewakoof apni setisfication ke lye apni aulad ko parha rahe hain aur unhe khilona samajh kar treat karte hain to mere lye koi hairat ki bat hai...!!!

ek waqt hota hai,jab parents apne bache ke lye choose karte hain..lekin sath sath apni bache ko itna selfconfidence bhi banana chahye ke wo apni bhi ek choice develep kare.

mai jab college se farigh hui thi to meri wish thi ke mai cosmetic line me jaun.lekin mere father ki nazar me ye ek bekaar line unhon ne mujhe nahi apnane di.jabke mai is pe aj bhi afsos karti hun kyoonke maine us line ko choose kar liya hota to mai aj bohat kamyab hoti :)

lekin mai is me bhi ye nahi keh sakti ke mere father ne apni setesfication ka socha,.balke unke nazar ,unhe apni taraf se mere lye bhalai hi sochi thi...ab mai chahti to us line se bhi faida utha sakti jo mere father ne mere lye choose ki thi..


so ye apne soch ka andaaz hota hai..mujhe aisa kuch tujraba nahi hua,,aur na hi mai apni setefication ke lye apni aulad ke sath zabardasti karungi..inshallah. 

Bewaqoof Group: Members  Joined: 19th Sep, 2010  Topic: 264  Post: 4719  Age:  43  
Posted on:19th Dec 2009, 7:22am

bachcho ki taleem aur waldain ki satisfaction

agar Bewakoof apni setisfication ke lye apni aulad ko parha rahe hain aur unhe khilona samajh kar treat karte hain to mere lye koi hairat ki bat hai...!!!

yes ham log koi bhi kam aisa nahi kerte jis se hamari satisfaction nahi ho, jin waldain ko apni aulad ko education delane mai satisfaction nahi hoti woh apni aulad ko taleem nahi delate. misal ke tor se aik tabqa aisa hai jo larkio ki taleem ke khilaf hai woh apni larkio ko taleem nahi delata, lekin onhi logo mai agar koi aisa ho jis ki khahish ho keh woh apni beti ko taleem delaye tu woh samaj se dushmani le ker bhi apni aulad ko taleem delaye ge, kio keh woh apni satisfaction ke liye samaj se dushmani bhi lene ko tayyar ho jaata hai.

mai apni aulad ko sirf aur sirf iss liye taleem dela raha hoo keh meri shadeed khahish hai keh mere bachche taleem yafta ho, mujhe iss se koi matlab nahi keh mera bachcha taleem haasil kerna chahta hai keh nahi, agar woh taleem haasil nahi kerna chahe ga tab bhi mai ose zabardasti taleem dilaoo ga, kio keh meri satisfaction isi mai hai keh woh taleem haasil kare, mujhe achcha nahi lage ga keh mere dost aur relative ke bachche taaleem yafta ho aur mere bachche jaahil.

lehaza mai apni satisfaction ke liye apne bachche ko taleem dilata hoo, agar mai bachche ke khahish per chaloo tu mujhe yaqeen hai keh mera aik bachcha jaahil reh jaayega, kio ke ose taleem se bilkul bhi dilchaspi nahi.

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