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Shadi k liye larkay ko larki mein kin baton ka khyal malhoz-e-khatir rakhna chahiye?

Unmarried Boys Problems
 
 
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:16th Nov 2016, 11:49pm
 

Shadi k liye larkay ko larki mein kin baton ka khyal malhoz-e-khatir rakhna chahiye?

I want to ask some questions from senior members:
Q-1: Shadi k liye eik mard aur aurat ki umar mein kitna farq hona chahiye?
Q-2: Agr larka larki se lag bag 9 ya 10 sal bara ho to is se koi farq to nai parta (Sharai lehaz se nai poch raha)?
Q-3: Kia 16 ya 17 years ki larki shadi k bad ki zimmadariyon ka idrak rakhti ha?
Q-4: Uper zikar kiye gaye age difference ki sorat mein dono afrad mein kia mental difference ho sakta ha?
Q-5: Kia is age ki larki khawand k sexual interest ya apne sexual interest samjh sakti ha?
Q-6: Aisi sorat-e-hal jis mein larki k ghar mein walid ki tarf se us pe sakhti ho yahan tk k us ka footwear bhi us k walid hi laty hon (larki k paon ki pemaish ley k) kia aisi larki zehni pukhtagi/confidance rakhti ha?
Q-7: Aisi sorat mein jab larki ki taleem matric jab k larka ala taleem yafta ho?
Q-8: is sorat-e-hal mein jb k larki ki height larkey se ziada ho (aur larka is ko feel karta ho k log kia kahen gy)?
Q-9: Kia aisi larki jo bahar ka shaoor nai rakhti shohar ki zimmadari ko share ker sakti hai (incase agr koi emergency situation darpesh ho aur khawand job pe ho)?
Q-10: Larka apni sexual life k havaly se bohat sensitive ho magr darta ho k larki apni kam umri k bais usy ghalat na samajh bethy?
Q-11: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka larki ko pasand karta ho (mainly us k husn ki waja se) aur deegar mamlat ko na janta ho (aadat, tor itwar, deendari)?
Q-12: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein jab kuch mozon rishty khandan mein mojod hon aur larka bhi ye bat janta ho magr khandan mein rishty karny pe amada na aur dosri tarf usy rishtydari mein bigar ka bhi dar ho tab?
Q-13: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab mazkora larka larki ko janta ho (due to teaching) apne dil ki bat apni walida se share kary (nikah ki gharz se) aur kisi jhagry k doran walida k zehan mein wo bat ghom jae aur wo larky (apne betay) ko zaleel krain us larki ka zikar kr ky...
Q-14: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka khandan mein rishty hony ki waja se ikhlaqi tor pe bhi pressure feel karta ho?
Q-15: Incase agr larka apni sister ya mother se larki k baray mein un ki raiye chahta ho aur shadi k bad ki zindagi k havaley se pershan bhi ho aur us ki mother mazaqan hony wali biwi ko gurya dilany ka kahein jis per larka embarass magr khamosh rahy to?
Q-16: Larkey ki walida ya sisters larky ki pasandeedgi ko janti hon magr larki ka havaly se mazaq bhi karti hon (due to her age) aur larka is bat ko bohat feel karta ho to?
Q-17: Is sorat-e-hal mein k zoo mani andaz mein larkey k relative ney larki k relative se bat ker li ho aur larki tak bhi ye bat pohanch chuki ho?
Q-18: Is bat se pehly, jb k larka larki k walid k kehny pe larki ko kai bar parha chuka ho aur us ny larki ko ankh bhar k na dekha ho aur jb us se usi larki k havaley se bat ki jae to wo andar hi andar nidamat bhi mehsos karta ho?
Q-19: Is sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka dili tor pe razamand ho magr salary kam hony ki waja se darta bhi ho k guzara kasy ho ga?
Q-20: Aur aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larki ka khandan ziada parha likha na (bashmol us k behan bahi) ho jab k larky ka khandan ala taleem yafta ho aur larka ye sochey k kahin us ki aisy khandan mein shadi karny se beyizzati na ho jae to? 
myrizvi Group: Members  Joined: 20th Apr, 2008  Topic: 132  Post: 8304  Age:  58  
Posted on:17th Nov 2016, 9:54am
 

Shadi Q&A

Q-1: Shadi k liye eik mard aur aurat ki umar mein kitna farq hona chahiye?
Ans: yeh donouN ki marzi par munhasir hai... donouN ki age same same bhi hosakti hai, laRki mard say choTi bhi hosakti hai aur baRi bhi... yeh teenouN soortaiN jaiz haiN... aam taur say log yeh chaahtay haiN k laRka 5/6 saal baRa ho takay laRki ki care etc karsakay.

Q-2: Agr larka larki se lag bag 9 ya 10 sal bara ho to is se koi farq to nai parta (Sharai lehaz se nai poch raha)?
Ans: koi faraq nahi paRta...kissi bhi etbaar say

Q-3: Kia 16 ya 17 years ki larki shadi k bad ki zimmadariyon ka idrak rakhti ha?
Ans: g bilkul rakhti hai...it is the best age

Q-4: Uper zikar kiye gaye age difference ki sorat mein dono afrad mein kia mental difference ho sakta ha?
Ans: mental diff to har soorat maiN hota hai... yeh difference kabhi bhi khatam nahi hosakta... just iss difference ko compromise karnay ki zaroorat hai. donouN ko

Q-5: Kia is age ki larki khawand k sexual interest ya apne sexual interest samjh sakti ha?
Ans: g bilkul samajh sakti hai... yeh Allah gifted jazbah hai jo har 2 baligh insaan balkay animals tak maiN maujood hota hai

Q-6: Aisi sorat-e-hal jis mein larki k ghar mein walid ki tarf se us pe sakhti ho yahan tk k us ka footwear bhi us k walid hi laty hon (larki k paon ki pemaish ley k) kia aisi larki zehni pukhtagi/confidance rakhti ha? 
Ans: g haaN ... dunya maiN aisi lakhouN balkay kaRorouN laRkiyaaN hoti haiN ... iss se zehni pukhtagi /confidence pay koi faraq nahi paRta

Q-7: Aisi sorat mein jab larki ki taleem matric jab k larka ala taleem yafta ho?
Ans: aj say 70/80 saal pahlay yeh bahoot common see baat thee ... aaj bhi bahoot say elaqouN maiN yeh common hai

Q-8: is sorat-e-hal mein jb k larki ki height larkey se ziada ho (aur larka is ko feel karta ho k log kia kahen gy)? 
Ans: age ki tarah height bhi same same, kam ya zeyadah hosakti hai... agar pasand nahi to nah karay lekin faraq koi nahi paRta.

Q-9: Kia aisi larki jo bahar ka shaoor nai rakhti shohar ki zimmadari ko share ker sakti hai (incase agr koi emergency situation darpesh ho aur khawand job pe ho)? 
Ans: g bilkul karsakti hai... aaj bhi karachi jaisay baRay shahar maiN bhi aisi biwiyaan maujood haiN aur kaamyaab haiN

Q-10: Larka apni sexual life k havaly se bohat sensitive ho magr darta ho k larki apni kam umri k bais usy ghalat na samajh bethy? 
Ans: shadi k baad aisa nahi hotaa... shadi k baad sex samajhnay samjhanay ki cheez nahi balkay karnay karanay ki cheez hoti hai... aaj bhi das das bachouN walay aisay bahoot say maaN baap haiN jinhaiN sex k baray maiN kuch bhi ilm /shaoor nahi hota... they just expert to do it...and that is enuf

Q-11: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka larki ko pasand karta ho (mainly us k husn ki waja se) aur deegar mamlat ko na janta ho (aadat, tor itwar, deendari)?
Ans: sab kuch to donouN shadi k saalouN baad bhi nahi jaan saktay...

Q-12: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein jab kuch mozon rishty khandan mein mojod hon aur larka bhi ye bat janta ho magr khandan mein rishty karny pe amada na aur dosri tarf usy rishtydari mein bigar ka bhi dar ho tab? 
Ans: yeh sab farzi bataiN haiN...

Q-13: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab mazkora larka larki ko janta ho (due to teaching) apne dil ki bat apni walida se share kary (nikah ki gharz se) aur kisi jhagry k doran walida k zehan mein wo bat ghom jae aur wo larky (apne betay) ko zaleel krain us larki ka zikar kr ky... 
Ans: iss tarah to hota hai iss tarah k kamouN maiN

Q-14: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka khandan mein rishty hony ki waja se ikhlaqi tor pe bhi pressure feel karta ho? 
Ans: yaa to iss pressure ko qabool karay yaa inkaar karay... donouN soortaiN jaiz haiN...aur donouN soortouN maiN shadi par koi khaas faarq nahi paRta

Q-15: Incase agr larka apni sister ya mother se larki k baray mein un ki raiye chahta ho aur shadi k bad ki zindagi k havaley se pershan bhi ho aur us ki mother mazaqan hony wali biwi ko gurya dilany ka kahein jis per larka embarass magr khamosh rahy to? 
Ans: iss say bhi kuch nahi hota...

Q-16: Larkey ki walida ya sisters larky ki pasandeedgi ko janti hon magr larki ka havaly se mazaq bhi karti hon (due to her age) aur larka is bat ko bohat feel karta ho to? 
Ans: to laRka pagal hai... yaa sister mother ki baat maan lay... yaa apni  manwa lay...FEEL karnay wala darama nah karay

Q-17: Is sorat-e-hal mein k zoo mani andaz mein larkey k relative ney larki k relative se bat ker li ho aur larki tak bhi ye bat pohanch chuki ho? 
Ans: yeh bhi common hai society maiN...apko shayad khabar nahi

Q-18: Is bat se pehly, jb k larka larki k walid k kehny pe larki ko kai bar parha chuka ho aur us ny larki ko ankh bhar k na dekha ho aur jb us se usi larki k havaley se bat ki jae to wo andar hi andar nidamat bhi mehsos karta ho? 
Ans: yeh sab laRkay ki bewaqoofi aur immaturity hai aur kuch nahi

Q-19: Is sorat-e-hal mein k jab larka dili tor pe razamand ho magr salary kam hony ki waja se darta bhi ho k guzara kasy ho ga? 
Ans: shadi karlo...quran maiN Allah ka wada hai k jo ghareeb hongay Allah onkay rizq maiN barkat ataa karega (mafhoomay aayat)

Q-20: Aur aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab larki ka khandan ziada parha likha na (bashmol us k behan bahi) ho jab k larky ka khandan ala taleem yafta ho aur larka ye sochey k kahin us ki aisy khandan mein shadi karny se beyizzati na ho jae to?
Ans: nahi hoti bay izzati...jab piyaar kia to darna kia

yeh saray sawaalaat pani k bulbulay haiN... 2 maiN say 1 faislah karlijyeh. shadi karni hai yaa nahi... agar karni hai to kar lijyeh...kuch nahi hoga...aur agar kissi bhi wajah say nahi kartay /kar saktay... tab bhi kuch nahi hoga... apki kissi aur say aur oski kissi aur sya hojayega. in sha Allah



bushra2012 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2013  Topic: 1  Post: 1721  Age:  80  
Posted on:17th Nov 2016, 7:06pm
 

username aiki - multiple questions related to marriage

Aapke kai sawalaat hein. Aapki age mein ye sawalaat bohot baRa pahaaR lagte hein.

Aapki soach abhi khud bhi immature hai. Aapke kuch sawalaat aapki situation se relevant bhi nahen.

Asal mein tajurba (experience) ka koi badal nahen. Jab aapko tajurba ho jaega to aapko andaza hoga ke yeh batain itni khaas ehmiat ki hamil nahen theen.

Ooper myrizvi ne aapko achay jawabaat dya hain.

myrizvi ne kaha ke drama na karo. Yeh hamaray muashray ka tradition hai he mardon ke jazbaat-o-ehsasaat ko kuchla jata hai. Unhein do or die waghera sikhaya jata hai. Yeh alag baat hai ke larkay, ziada hassas aur sharmeelay hotay hain.

Yeh bhi haqeeqat hai ke ke aapko faisla lena hoga. Aap jo bhi faisla lein (dunya ka kisi bhi tarah ka faisla), usko sarahnay walay bhi honge, us mein support karnay walay bhi honge, usko resist karnay walay bhi honge, uspe mazaq uranay walay bhi honge, aur uss faislay ke nateejay mein tashaddud ya qqatal tak bhi nobat aa jati hai. Aur ooper likhi gai 4,5 conditions mein aksar qareebi rishtaydaar he mulawwis hotay hein, walking spectator to kam he hotay hain.

Aam taur pe Pakistani mard ko pata hota hai, ke Pakistani aurat ki cutting tongue hoti hai. Islye woh shadi byah ke muamlat maan behnon pe he chor deta hai. Dulha ke ghar ki aurtein dulhan ko pasand karti hain, aur dulhan ke ghar ki aurtein, dulha ke ghar ki aurton ko pasand karti hain. Iss tarah selection hota hai. Uske baad apni marzi se bahu lai jati hai, phir ya to saas apni bahu ki zindagi mein zeher ghol deti hain. Ya bahu saas ki zindagi mein zeher ghol deti hain. Aur uskay baad larkay ke paas bharpoor moqa hota hai ke side pe khara ho kar hansay aur kahay ke meri selection thori hai jo mujhe kosnay dyay ja rahay hain. Biwi sahiba, aapne apni saas ko chuna hai. Amman ji, aap ne apni bahu ko chuna hai.

Abhi to aaghaz hai. Aapki shadi jahan bhi ho. Aapki maan behnon ki tanzia zubaan se to na aap bachain ge, na koi aur. Anay wali apni tanzia zubaan alag le kar aygi.
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:18th Nov 2016, 1:14pm
 

Myrizvi bhai & Bushra baji

Sab se pehly to mein my rizvi aur bushra aapi ka shukar guzar hon k unho ny maray sawalat k jawabat diye. Ap k jawabat se meri kafi pershani kam ho gai. Darasal bat yeh hai k meri walida ki kefiat aisi hai k jb bhi un se koi bat kisi bhi eham mamley mein ki jati hai to wo koi bhi decesion nai ley patin. Aur sara mamla usi insan pe daal deti hain jo un se mashwara lena chahta ho. mein samajhta hon k ye eik insan ki zindagi ka sab se eham faisla hota hai. Ya to zindagi ban jati ya barbad ho jati hai...yehi mary baray bhi kehty hain...Ab asal bat ye hai k



Q-1: Larki k walid maray walid marhom ko jantay thay aur un ki wafat k bad jahan bohat se logon ney (mufad khatm honay) milna chor dia magar unhon nay blood relation na honay ki bawjod mukhtalif moqon pe ghair hony ka tassur na dia aur pehli jesi garam joshi se miltay rahay yahan tak k relations ghar walay ho gaye...Larki k walid ka mujh se bhi eik respect ka taluq qaim ho gya. Aisa shakhs jo baironi mahol ki waja se bohat sakhti aur parda ka qail ho un ka mujha apni beti ko parhany ka kehna koi mamooli bat nai. Mein ney kabhi husan ko foqiat nai di magar un k walid k ikhlaq ny mujha beyhad mutasir kia. Aur mein samajhta hon k zaroor un ka ikhlaq un ki beti mein bhi aya ho ga... ye bat mujha bohat ziada attract karti hai...


Q-2: University life mein coeduaction honey k bawjood mein ney na to kisi larki se baat ki aur na hi zaroorat-e-shadeeda k baghair baat. Ala taleem yafta larkian bhi mujha attract na ker payin bcz mujha un mein parda aur haya ka fuqdan nazar aya...I don't know magar mein ye bhi mehsos karta hon k chonkey larki bahar k mahol se ashna nai to us mein bahar k buray asrat bhi nai hon gey jo mein ny professional field mein kam karti aurton mein dekhay hain...


Q-3: Kuch khas moqon pe walida larki se mil chuki hain aur unhain larki (zahiran) pasand bhi hai magr wo larkay ko hosla ya aietmad danay ko tayar nai...



Q-4: Larki larkay ki behan se apney kisi qareebi rishtay dar ka havala dey k larkay ko praise ker chuki hai. Kia is ko larki ki pasandeedgi shumar kia ja sakta hai?



Q-5: Larkay ki behan ka larki ki maan k havaley se khyalat ziada positive nai (due to interference in other people business). Kia larkay k liye ye bay ehmiat rakhti hai?


Q-6: Larkay ki behan samajhti hai larki ki kam umri ki waja se larka usey groom ker sakta hai magar agr larki kuch aur arsa apni maan k pas reh gai to masail paida ho saktey hain....


Q-7: larka jb kuch maazi mein jata hai to usey ye bhi yaad ata hai k larki k walid aur mazkora beti us k walid k hayat mein un se milny aye thay aur larki ki umar us waqt 11, 12 saal yani choti bachi thi aur us bachi k sar pe larkay k walid ny hath phera tha aur larki ye baat yad rakhti hai aur larkay se is baat ka zikar bhi ker chuki ho... Kia larkay ka is ko naseeb samajhna (Allah ki tarf se eik indication) darust hai?


Q-8: Larka larki ko apni behan ki mojodgi mein parha chuka hai aur parhai k doran parhai se hatt k us k interest jannana chahta ho to kia tadbeer apnaye ( Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k jab us ki walida larkay k faisly ki zimmadar usi pe dalain aur own na karain)...


Q-9: Larkay k first uncle larki aur un ki walida se by chance mil chukay hon aur un ki raye bhi poitive ho (height se hatt k)...


Q-10: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k larkay ki job out station ho aur us ki mother ko ye ehsas bhi ho magar wo is bat pe israr karain k behan ki shadi se pehly koi baat na ho gi....



Q-11: Aisi sorat-e-hal mein k larka nikah pe believe karta ho aur mangni na karna chahta ho magar walida ki zid ki waja se nikah ki sorat na ban paye aur larka yeh bhi na chahta ho k mangni k bad masail paida hon (due to his mother behaviour) to kia kia jaye?
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:23rd Nov 2016, 1:12pm
 

No Reply

Bushra aapi aur MyRizvi bhai mein sey kisi ney bhi mary questions ka jawab nai diya. May be ap ko yeh bachgana sawal lagtey hon but mary liye ehmiat rakhtey hain. jab sawalat k jawabat na milain to ehsas-e-mehroomi barh jata hai kyonk kuch batain ap her kisi se nai ker saktey mazaq uraney ka andesha hota hai. Isi liye at least yahan her insan koi bhi question poch sakta hai khawah wo kitna hi immature kyon na lagey. Hosla afzai k nateejay mein mazeed pochney ki himmat hoti hai otherwise raha saha hosla bhi toot jata hai.......
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:1st Dec 2016, 7:56am
 

@senior members

Is there no one who can answer my questions?
bushra2012 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2013  Topic: 1  Post: 1721  Age:  80  
Posted on:5th Dec 2016, 1:24pm
 

username aiki - confusion about marriage and family not helping

* Agar aapki walida decision nahen le pateen to yeh koi masla nahen. Kyunkeh decision aapne lena hai, unhon ne to mashwara lena hai. Aap apni bandooq unke kandhay pe rakh ke kyun chalana chahte hain?

Q1:

Aapne aik statement likha hai. Na ke question. Ab iska kia jawab dia jae ke aap larki ke walid ke akhlaaq se mutassir hain jabke larki se khud baat cheet honay ke bawajud aapko uske akhlaaq ke baaray mein nahen pata chal saka.

Jahan tak akhlaaq ke bachon mein aanay ki baat hai, wahan yeh bhi note rakhain ke Azar (sanam-tarash) ke ghar he Ibrahim (but-shikan) paida ho sakta hai aur Nooh AS (paighambar) ke ghar bhi Nooh AS ka beta (kafir) paida ho sakta hai.

Islye - not fixed - ke achay akhlaaq walay ke bachay bhi achay hon aur not given ke buray akhlaaq walay ke bachay bhi buray akhlaq ke hamil hon.

Wesay bhi aap larki ke baap se impress huay, aisa to nahen ke jis tarah woh beti ko daba kar rakhtay hein, unhon ne bin-baap ka larka talash kia hai ke shadi ke baad beti aur damaad donon ko daba kar rakhun ga?

Jesa ke aapka kehna hai ke relations to pehlay he "ghar walay" ho gae hein.

Q2:

"parda aur haya ka fuqdan"

Parda aur haya ki definition to har kisi ke nazdeek mukhtalif hoti hai. Aapne kaheen orgy lagi dekh lii kia?

"chonkey larki bahar k mahol se ashna nai to us mein bahar k buray asrat bhi nai hon gey"

Dilchasp khyalat hain aapke. "Bahar ke buray asraat" aap par huay?

Unn mulkon ki aurton kay baray mein pata nahen chala aapko jahan aurton ko daba kar rakhtay hain kaheen aanay janay naheen dete aur woh inteqaami jazba ke tehat ziada se ziada mardon se karwa ke dikha deti hain?

"jo mein ny professional field mein kam karti aurton mein dekhay"

Kon se "buray asraat" aap ne professional field mein kaam karti aurton mein dekhay? Kia office mein he orgy shuroo ho jati thee porn movie ki tarah?

hamari malumaat ke mutabiq aisi aurtain aur aisay mard bhi hotay hain jo office kaam karne jatay hain.
Aur aisi aurtain aur aisay mard bhi hotay hain jo office sexual harrasment, sexual exploitation karnay ya phir sexual favours lenay jatay hain.

Q3:

"walida larki se mil chuki hain aur unhain larki (zahiran) pasand bhi hai magr wo larkay ko hosla ya aietmad danay ko tayar nai"

Yahan aapka bachpana aur tunnel vision khul kar saamnay aya. Kyunkeh aapka to larkion se kam he exposure raha aur aapne kabhi kisi larki se baat bhi nahen ki lekin aapki walida khud bhi aik larki hain aur unki saari zindagi larkion ke saath he guzri hai islye aapko jo khas baat mehsus ho rahi hai woh unhein khas hargiz mehsus na hogi.

Larkay ko aitemaad dena larkay ki maan ka kaam nahen hota. Woh larkay ka rishta ya to khud le jati hain, ya phir inkar. "Aitemaad dena" kis baat ka? Ke ja kar khud he larki ke ghar walon se rishta maang lo?

Q4:

"Kia is ko larki ki pasandeedgi shumar kia ja sakta hai?"

Shayd. Kisi ki niyyat ka haal kisay pata?

Wesay yeh matter bhi nahen karta ke larki pehlay se pasand bhi karti hai ya nahen. Aisi larki jisne kabhi kisi mard ko dekha he nahen, woh jisko bhi dekhay gi pasand he karna shuroo ho jaegi.

Q5:

Yeh to saason ka permanent mashghala hai. Wesay bhi larki ki saas ka masla ziada ehem hota hia kyunkeh larki ne saas ke saath guzara karna hota hia jabke larka saas ke saath usi waqt guzara karta hai jab woh ghar-damaad ho.

Q6:

Yeh baat theek hai. Pehle bhi aapko confidence walay sawal pe yehi bataya gya thaa ke larki ki aadaat abhi pukhta na hongi.
Wesay khoon bhi asar dikhata hai.

Q7:

Larkay ke walid ne to shafqat ke maaray najane kis kis ke sarr pe haath phaira ho. Agar aaj 1000 larkay aur 1000 larkian aur 1000 hijray aajaen ke aapke abba marhoom ne hamaray sarr pe haath rakha thaa to aap 3000 afraadd se shadi karne beth jaenge?

Q8:

* Larki se uska love interest khud nahen poochna chahye.

* Larkay ki walida interest nahen le raheen to larkay ki behen ya bhabi ya deegar kisi ko involve kia ja sakta hai.

* Larkay ki behnain waghera bhi yeh dekhain ke larki ka rishta to uskay maan baap tay karain ge to rishta unhe paas bhijwana chahye na keh khud he hero banna.

* Aap khud he sochain ke mohallay ki koi aurat apne betay/bhai ka rishta aapki behen ke lye laengi to woh ghar pe walida, ya bari bhabi ya bari baji se baat karaingi? Agar woh khud he larki ka interest janchnay lag jaen to aapke ghar mein kia samjha jaega. Unhein yehi kaha jayga na ke larki ka saaray baray mar gae thay jo tum apnay aap larki se itnay sensitive muamlaat mein free ho rahi ho.

* Apka kia khyal hai aapki behen aasani se apna interest ya shadi kelye amadgi mohallay ki aurat ko bataen gi ya yeh samjhain gi ke ajeeb aurat hai. Isko yehi aqal nahen ke yeh batain ammi se karnay ki hain.

* Beherhal larki ka apna interest hona bhi koi zaruri nahen. Jis larki ki nazar mein aur koi nahen, woh apne walidein ke faislay pe raazi hogi. Aisay mein aap larki ka interest jaan kar kia hasil kar leingi?

Q9:

Larkay ke first uncle larkay ke sarparast hein uskay abbu ke baad?
To phir walida ke taraf se laparwai ke bajay unhe uncle se baat karke apna muamla sulajhwaen.

Q10:

Aisi soorat-e-haal mein larka, pehlay behen kelye rishta dhoond le. Apni shadi bhi karay, behen ki shadi bhi karay. Iss tarah to behen ki shadi jis se hona hai, woh bhi apni behnon ke intezaar mein betha hoga.

Q11:

Mian biwi raazi to kia karega qazi.
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:7th Dec 2016, 1:18pm
 

@Bushra aapi

Q-1: Shaid ap kuch ghalat samajh baithin. Aisi hargiz koi bat nai k larki k walid usey gher zaroori tor pe dabaty hon ya gher ikhlaqi sakhti kartey hon. Infact larki apne baap se bohat mohabbat karti hai is ka andaza mujhay us ki baaton se ho chuka tha...Even mein jab usy parha raha the to us k walid bhi pass mein baithy huey they aur jb meray sawal pochny per wo khamosh rahi to us k walid ny us se sakhti se bat ki (not in a harsh way). Mera yehi khayal tha k wo sharam ki waja se nai bol rahi ho gi magar mein apne khayal ko hatmi nai samjhta. Phir ap ney anbia karam k havaley se bat ki hai to wo bhi theek hai magar anbia e karam aur aam bandon mien farq hota hai. Ambia e karam Allah k khas bandey hotey hain aur un ka ilam bhi khas hota hai. Wo to already masoom hain aur koi bhi faisla apne nafas se nai balkey wahi ki roshni mein kartey hain. brharhal is mamley ko ap mujh se behtar janti hon gi. Mein topic ko divert nai karna chahta. Anbia e karam ki biwiyan fasiq/kafira ho sakti hain magar bey kirdar (zania) nai. ye mamla aam insano k sath nai hai k pakeeza mard k liye pakeeza biwiyan and vice versa. Isi liye muashrey mein ap ko aisi un gint misalain mil jati hain jahan mard neik magar biwi shetan hai and again vice versa.


Jahan tak daba k rakhney ki bat hai to mein yahan eik detail bhi add karta jaon jo shaid insignificant ho magar ap ko bat samjhney mein asani kary gi. Mamla kuch aisa hai k larki ka eik out of city rehta hai aur waja gher se baghawat hai. Shaid walidain se narazgi (halat se is bat ka andaza hota hai). Wo mustaqilan apna ghar 300 mile dor us city ko bana chuka hai. Mera zehan ye appeal karta hai k us k walid apne batay ko to na rok paye magr wo hargiz na chahain gey k un ki beti k sath bhi aisa mamla ho. To ho sakta hai k wo beti pe ziada sakhti ya hold rakhtey hon. once gaian ye mera zaati khyal hai according to the situation. Is baray mein ap behtar analysis ker sakti hain. Aur meray zehan mein aisi koi bat nai k wo apne damad ko daba ker rakhein gey balkey infact unho ney khandan se bahar (except me) kahin bhi apni beti ko parhany nai bheja to ye amal un k aietmad ki akkasi bhi karta hai (keeping in mind the overall scenerio). meray khyal mein ap meri bat ko samajh gai hon gi aur behtar rai bhi dey sakein gi...




Q-2: Mujh per bahar k halat ka ziada asar na honey ki eik bari waja meray ghar ka mazhabi mahol aur walid sahib ki sakhti thi. Magar agar ap larki k gharelo halat pe ghor karain to bawaja walid ki sharafat k aisey halat paida ho gaye. yahan mein apni previous bat ko wazeh bhi karta chalon k professional aurton se meri murad hargiz ye nai k wo sab ki sab gher ikhlaqi kam karney jati hain ya un sab ki sab bahar k buray mahol ka ziada asar leti hain balkey mein ye kahon ga apne experience ki roshni mein k shaid hi koi 1 or 2 % aurtein hon gi jo bahar ki khak se gard alood na hui hon. Kahin na kahin farq zaroor ata hai...Meray tajurbey mein mard ki brabari, paisey kamaney ki waja se false self ego, improper dressing, mardon se hans khel k (casual mode) mein bat cheet, Power shifting ki waja se uncompromising behaviour jis mein aulad ki parwa bhi nai ki jati (eik waqt tha k aurtein bardasht karti thin magar ab aisa nai ya bohat kam hai. aj k muashrey mein aurtein talaq mangti hain dharaley se kyon, k wo already kisi aur k sath setting ker chuki hoti hain). Ab mein ye bhi nai kehna chahta k her case mein aisa hi hota hai but in most of the cases aisa ho raha hai. Ye bat bhi mary topic se hat k thi magr chon k ap ney query raise ki to apna point of view mein ney wazeh ker dia.

Baki orgy ko mein nai janta.



Q-3,4: Aitemad denay se yahan ye murad nai thi k unho ney larkay ko psychological counselling ya moral boosting karni hai balkey larkay ki walida zehni tanao ka shikar rehti hain jis mein burhapa aur maazi k waqiat ka asar ho sakta hai. Eik bat masbat bhi ho magar andaz manfi ho to impact kia ho ga? Wo kehti to hain k shadi ker lo magar kia larka ab khud bat karay. Infact khandan mein dosri koi aurat bhi nai aur larka darta bhi hai k usey khandan ki dosri aurton se impartial opinion nai milay gi (khandan mein rishtey honey ki waja se). Aisi sorat e hal mein larka sirf apni maa pe depend ker sakta hai magar maa is silsilay mein practical tor pe help out karny ko tayyar nai. Larkay ki behan bhi is mamley mein wesa tajurba nai rakhti k larki aya k us k bhai k sath guzara ker sakey gi ya nai. kyon k larkay ki behan khud unmarried hai. baki ap ney kaha k larki ney kisi mard ko dekha nai to aisa bhi nai hai. larki maray ilawa apne couzin se bhi parh chuki hai. Her couzin is also graduate. But wo khandan mein shadi nai karna chahti. Mein eik common meeting mein us k couzin se mil bhi chuka hon. He is good looking and handsome than me. He is also looking for a job as well. Magar larki ye bat casually ker chuki hai k us k khandan mein koi parha likha nai jab k meray khayal mein B.com Is also a fair education...Ap behtar is pe raye dey sakti hain.


Q-5: To kia is ka koi hal bhi hai kyon k ghar mein to wohi desi mahol hi chalta hai. Bachey khawa kitney hi kyon na parh jain khas tor pe agar mein apni maa ji bat karon to unki tabiat pal mein tola aur pal mein masha wali hai. koi reason na bhi ho to jo un k hath charh jata hai us k ehsas o jazbat ki khichri ban jati hai. ghar se bahar izzat aur andar itni beyizzati, aksar eik purlutf kefiat ki sorat bramad hoti hai magar sath hi sath dil mein waswasey bhi paida honey lagtey hain k hum to bardasht kaer laein gey magar kia nai aney wali bardashat karay gi specially jab wo kamati bhi ho aur financially khud mukhtar ho....neiz ys is case mein jahan larkay k larki k walid se is mamley se hatt k bhi bohat respected relations hon aur wo shadi k bad koi bhi bat gher se bahar janey se darta ho...



Q-6: Meri sister ka yehi kehna hai aur jab mei ney walida se bat ki to unho ney bajaye serious lenay k gurya wali bat ker k mujha bhi embarrass ker dia.



Q-7: Is ki waja bhi ye hai k mein ikhlaq mein apne walid se bohat mutasir hon. Aur meri zindagi ya is ko ap naseeb keh lein mein un k deceions ka bohat ziada asar raha. Meri khawahishat k baraks unho ney agr mein kahon to 180 degree faisley kiye. Ye alag bat hai mein ney dil nachahtey hue wo faisley qabool kiye aur faidey mein hi raha (agarche khawahishat pori na honey ka ifsos bhi raha k wo pori ho sakti thin agar kuch effort ki jatin). Un se mutasir honey ki eik bari waja ye bhi hai k wo jo kam shroo kartey they wo (by grace of Allah) ho jaya karta tha. Jis larki ki bat mein ap se ker raha hon us aur meri age ka farq 10 sal hai. Ghaliban walid k zamaney mein eik bar apne bap k sath ai thi aur bohat choti (app 5 years old) thi. She started crying because her father left her outside home while he was meeting with my father who was ill. Aur usi bemari mein un ki wafat bhi hui but the same girl remember my father affectionate hand and she also said k unho ny mujha hug kiya. She still remembers it. jab k agr us ki umar aur is mamley ko casually dekha jaey to koi bari bat nai...Ye bat larki ney walid k baray meray istafsar karney pe batai otherwise mujha hargiz ye ilamna hota k 10 sal pehly meray ghar aney wali ye wo bachi thi....Ye mera eik zati khayal hai kyon k obviously mein hi nai meray walid k collegue aur larki k walid unhain Allah ka wali kehty they.is bat ko jantay huey mera khayal aur mazboot hota hai k rastey aur un raston pe chalney ki reasoning Allah ki taraf se hi hoti hai. Insan is baray mein kia ker sakta hai. Mujh jesa insan coeducation mein rehtey huey bhi kisi se mutasir na ho saka us k liye keeping the mindset of her mutasir hona eik la shaoori amal hai....(keeping the overall scenerios intact)...


Q-8: Ap ki almost sab batain apni jaga darust hain...But is k satheik picture aur bhi hai k larkay ka eik chota bahi hai jo is waqt studies ker raha hai aur larki se us ki umar ka fasla bhi kam hai. Larki ney us k chotey bhai ko nai dekh rakha taham larkay ki behan ko ye shak hai k larki ki maan ka interest larkay k chotey bhai mein hai.Meray nazdeek ye batain itni ziada matter to nai kartin magar agar larkay k havaley se bat ki jaey to wo atleast is confusion se nikalna chahta hai. Larkay k chotey bhai ney abhi 4,5 sal mazid education hasil karni hai aur us k bad bhi larki ki umar 22, 23 sal hi ho gi to larkay k chotey bhai k sath bhi larki ka jor ban sakta hai. is k ilawa height k aetbar se bhi larkay ka chota bhai larki se match karta hai jab k laraky ka bara bhai larki se height mein kuch kam hai..Abhi tak larki ki walida ney bhi in baton ko openly discuss nai kiya (may be to keep both ends open)...Jo batain mujh tak pohanchi mein un k havaley se andaza laga raha hon though mujha other case time marjin ki waja se weak lagta hai magar the way is open...behter analysis to ap hi ker sakti hain...According to my experience hamarey muashron mein takreeban tamam maain eik jesi hoti hain (ye bat mein apni maa ko dekhtey huey keh raha hon aur un ki sister k rishton mein raye ko dekhtey huey) to ab ye bat malom karna merray liye ehmiat rakhta hai...



Q-9: Larkay k first uncle larki k walid ko rishtey k havaley se hint dey chukey hain aur ye bat larkay k samney ho chuki hai jis per larkay ney larki k walid k chehrey pe khushi k asaar dekhey. laraky k first uncle eik had se agey nai ja saktey. Larki k walid chahtey hain k larkay ki maa un k ghar ain jain (may be due to this reason) magar larkay ki walida ziada social nai aur degar physical reasons ki waja se bhi kahin ati jati nai. Dosra larka bhi darta hai k kahin us ki walida ka mood swing na ho jaey, kyon k rishtey ki to phir khair hai magar jo larki k walid k sath dareena taluqat na kharab ho jain aur larka is bat ko bhi mehsos karta hai k us k walid (marhom) per unglian na uthein. aur ye bat pehley hi ho chuki hai k larka apne khandan mein aisi koi gher janib experienced khatoon nai dekhta jo is mamley mein us ko assist karey...

Dosri janib larki ki walida ney larkay k chotey bhai ko bhi dekh rakha hai to larka ye nai janta k larki ki walida ki is mamley mein hatmi raye kia hai? Kyon k larki apni maa ki baton ye raye ka ziada asar leti hai to mein is havaley se bhi tazab zub ka shikar hon?

Thirdly larki k khandan mein education na honey ki waja se shaid kuch jahalat bhi hai. Larki k bhai larkay ki bohat izzat kartey hain magar socially wo "dandai patti" mein mahir hain. Eik bar jhagrey ki waja se nobat police katchery tak bhi pohanch chuki hai (un k internal mamlat mein ziada nai jana chahta) magar mein is sarey mamley mein larka larki ka koi qasoor nai dekhta magar sath hi sath darta bhi hai k is k asrat shadi k bad us pe na paren (keeping in mind k larkay ka khandan educated hai aur is sari kahani ka khandan walon ko ilam nai. even larkay ki walida ko bhi nai)



Q-10: laraky ki behan shadi k havaley se apna eik standard rakhti hai aur kai rishton ko inkar ker chuki hai aur larka is sari sorat e hal mein beybas hai. Larkay ki maa ka is saray mamley mein eham kirdar hai magar wo halat ki nazakat ka andaza laganey se qasir hai. Larka khud bhi apni behan k havaley se pershan hai k jis tara ka meyar wo mangti hai wo shaid films/dramo mein hi ho sakta hai. Larkay ki maa larkay ki shadi karna chahti hai magar wo larkay ki behan ka rishta pehly karna chahti hai kyon k un k khayal mein larka shadi k bad gharelo zimmadariyon ki wajas se behno se ghafil ho jae ga. To phir ye bail kahan mundhay charey gi? larka khud bhi job k silsilsay mein out of city rehta hai aur us ki family dosrey city mein aur larkay ki walida pershan bhi rehti hain k meray bachay k pas koi hona chahiye jo us ka khayal karey aur apne batay ki shadi ki khawahish mand bhi hain magar koi faisla karney ko tayyar bhi nai...larka apni walida pe unke muqam ki waja se zor bhi nai dey sakta...so what to do?
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:13th Dec 2016, 7:36am
 

@bushra

Bushra aapi lagta hai k ap ney abhi tak meri post ko nai parha warna ap ka jawab ab tak a chuka hota...kindly waqt nikal k reply zaroor kjeay ga. At least ziada nai to itna to mein keh sakta hon k aap ki batain mujhay bohat kuch sochney pey bhi majboor kar deti hain aur bohat sey deegar mamlat mein bhi rehnumai ho jati hai. Mein ap se is toic pe discussion jari rakhna chahta hon until unless mein mutmain na ho jaon....
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:5th Jan 2017, 11:13pm
 

Senior members

Kindly answer anyone...
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:9th Jan 2017, 8:20am
 

Senior members

It has been days since anyone answered... Kindly is issue pe bhi bat krain.
oman_jee Group: Members  Joined: 07th Jan, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 15  Age:  32  
Blocked
Posted on:10th Jan 2017, 7:07am
 

Jinsi Taleem

aapkey tamam salwalat ka haal sirf aik video mai, jinsi taleem tamam hazrat k liye.
...MOD EDIT: Removed off-domain link...
yeh video lazmi daikhien.


aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:11th Jan 2017, 9:32am
 

oman_jee

Is video ka meri problem se kia taluq ha? Agar mujha video hi dekhni thi to forum pe aney ki kia zaroorat thi?
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:19th Jan 2017, 11:49pm
 

To senior members

Bushra aapi aur kisi aur senior member ney abhi tak is post pey koi further response nahi diya jis ka mujhay ifsos hai. Noorclinic eik bara forum hey aur is pey i hope k senior members bhi kafi hon gey magar kai kai din guzr janey k bawjood kisi topic ko attend na karna to sahi nai. Agar time ki kami ho to at least itna to kiya ja sakta hai k dosrey bandey ko inform kr dia jaey takey usey yeh ehsas to rahey k jald ya badair response aye ga. Beharhal mein members sey mazeed kuch sawal pochna chahta tha. Kindly kuch waqt spare ker k response zaroor dijeay ga.

Mein ney ye post shadi/nikah k havaley se apne zehan mein peda honey wali confusions k baray mein banai thi. Aur aksar aukat aisey bohat se sawalat zehan mein uthtey rehtey hain to mera to yehi khyal hai k zehan mein uthney waley sawalon ka jawab zaroor hasil karna chahiye wagarna confusion barhti rehti hai. Aksar members k nazdeek ye sawalat shaid koi khas ehmiat na rakhtey hon magar questionerk nazdeek to rakhtey hain. Nevertheless, questions ye hain...


Q-1: Agar insan k maashi halat ziada achey na hon to kia usey intazar karna chahiye?

Q-2: Intzar karney ki sorat mein (jesa k aj kal jobs k halat hain) agar waqt zaya hota ja raha ho to kia kia jaey?

Q-3: hamarey mashrey mein ye bhi eik aam mamol samjha jata hai k larkey ki umar ki kher hoti hai inhain larki mil jati hai. asal masla larkyon ka hota hai. Kia ye bat darust hai?

Q-4: Special cases se hat k (jahan middle age/borhon ki shadian jawan larkyon se ho jati hain) kia larkey ki umar matter karti hai? Agar karti hai to kis had tak?

Q-5: Eik amomi khyal ye bhi paya jata hai k mangni ker di jaey to ziada acha rehta hai. Kia ye nikah k islmic asoolon k khilaf to nai? Kehney se murad ye hai k kia mangni ismically jaiz hai?

Q-6: Mary beshtar friends ka nikah ho chuka hai aur ab to aksar mujh se bhi nikah k mutaliq pocha jata hai. Mein family issues ki waja se talta rehta hon but mein bhi chahta hon zindagi ko linearty mein laya jaye magar samjh nai ata k kia tadbeer karon?

Q-7: "Her cheez ka eik waqt hota hai" ye jumla bhi aksar kaha aur suna jata hai. Kia nikah karney ka munasib waqt job se related hota hai ya personal needs/desire se?

Q-8: Mein job k silsiley mein out of city rehta hon aur walida is bat ko realize bhi karti hain magar wo us waqt tak koi step uthaney ko tyar nai jab tak sister ka nikah nai ho jata aur indirectly is ki (walid k na honey ki waja se) zimmadari mujh pe dalti hain? Kia un ka ye amal munasib hai?

Q-9: Sister mutadid rishton ko refuse ker chuki hain jin mein se kuch rishtey above average they jahan bat ban sakti thi aur mary smjhaney k bawjod wo nai manin. Previous 6 years mein kai is tara k rishtey un ki zid ki waja se nikal gye and she is close to 30. is sorat-e-hal mein mein kia karon?

Q-10: Is sorat-e-hal mein k jahan walida khud zimma dari (decesion) lany ko tyar nai aur sister ala mayar chahti hain wahan mein kia karon?

Q-11: Sister khud ala taleem yafta hain magar jb mein un ko samjhaney ki koshish karta hon to wo kehti hain k tm 4 shadiyan ker saktey ho. Aurat to eik hi ker sakti hai to agar us ko eik bhi mayar ka na miley to is se behtar hai k shadi hi na ki jae. Ab mein un ki is mantaq ka kia jawab don?

Q-12: Amomi halat ko dekhtey huey mustaqbil qareb mein to mujhay kuch dikhai nai dey raha kyon k her tadbeer pe sister ki zid aur walida ka irresponsibe behaviour havi hai. Is sorat-e-hal mein mein kia ker sakta hon?

Q-13: Kuch kher khawa doston ka kehna hai k akeley rehna darust nai hai. Bandey k pas koi banda hona chahiye soo oonch neech ho jati hai aur mujha bhi is bat ka ehsas hai. walida ko bhi hai magar wo amalan kuch karney ko tyar nai. To is sorat-e-hal mein mujhay kia karna chahiye?

Q-14: Is waqt mary uncle ney mary rishta ki bat chalai hui hai (previously detail se likh chuka hon) magar walida ki adam dilchaspi ki waja se kuch hota dikhai nai dey raha. Further rishta dar khawateen ki apni betiyon k masail hain jahan mein nai karna chahta. Ab mujhay to koi wayout dikhai nai deta?

Is k ilawa bhi kuch personal batain karna chahta hon. Hopefully mujhay mary sawalat ka jawab aur suggestions miley ga...waiting for your response...
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:20th Jan 2017, 12:06pm
 

Part-II

Hamari society mein aurat ko sharm-o-haya ka istaara samjha jata hai magar ground realities itni sadi bhi nai hain. agar aj se 30, 40 saal pehly chaley jain to shaid ye bat darust ho gi magar aj kal jo mein observe ker raha hon aisa nai hai. Aj hamarey gharon mein larkian rishton k baray mein khul kr apni raaye ka izhar karti hain aur in most cases unki raaye mani bhi jati hai. Mein is bat ka mukhalif nai hon magar agar pichley zamaney ko dekhain to ye eik bohat bari change hai jahan larki se pochna bhi nagwar tasawur hota tha. Magar ye bhi eik almia hai k us zamaney mein rishtey ho bhi jaya kartey they aur nibah bhi. Magar aj k dor mein rishtey ho hi nai pa rahey aur us ki waja bhi larkyon ka high standard hai (ap behtar roshni daal saktey hain is issue pey). Dosri tarf larkey k havaley se bat ki jaey to ye bhi eik almia hai k is mamley mein larki ki selection khawateen hi karti hain jin ki ziada nigah larki se ziada us k ghar se aney waley maal pey lagi hoti hain to aisey halat mein larki kia khak achi aye gi?

Q-1: Ab is mamley mein larka kia ker sakta hai kyon k ye mamla uski zinadge se taluq rakhta hai?


Q-2: Hamarey mashery mein rishton k mamlat aurtein chalati hui nazar ati hain. khawa wo koi rishtey karaney wali ho ya ye jananey wali to is mamley mein mard ki shar’ai zimmadari kia hai? Aur kia ye mamlat (decesions) aurton ney karney hotey hain ya mardon ney?


Q-3: kia walida jasy eham tareen fard ko nikal k rishta ho sakta hai (keeping in view the mother’s lack of interest)?


Q-4: Sister k rishtey dekhney k doran mujhay is cheez ka bhi andaza hua k majority of people enjoyment k liye atey hain rather than with a sense of responsibility. Yeh bhi andaza hua k larkey ki aar mein larki ka rishta dhonda ja raha hota hai aur bhi is tarah k degar issues meri observation mein aye k jin ko likhney bethon to shaid sara topic isi ki nazar hojae… mein un ehsasat se waqif hon jo baghair kisi waja k sirf zati mufad ki khatir kisi ko nazarandaz karney se peda hotey hain. Sister k case mein mein ney is ka baghor mushahida kia hai aura b mujhay bhi khof aney laga hai k agar mary rishtey ki bat chaley gi to kia mary ghar se bhi aisey hi inkar hua karey ga. Jab mein is baray emin sochta hon to dil takleef se bhar jata hai. Mein chahney k bawjood bhi is bat ko dil se nai nikal pa raha. Kia mera aisa sochna mera ehsas hai, kam ilmi ya immaturity?

Q-5: zindagi mein pehli bar agar kisi ney is baray mein practical help ki koshish ki hai to wo mary uncle hain aur unho ney hi is rishtey ka zikar mujh se kia tha aur mein is pey kafi soch bichar bhi ker chukka hon. larki ko mein ney bhi dekh rakha tha to ye koi blind suggestion nai thi. Jab mein ney is mamley pe ghor kia to mujhay mehsos hua k shaid mein bhi us k havaley se achey jazbat rakhta hon. Magar sath hi sath ye khof bhi rehta hai kia is age mein meri soch mature hai aur kia mein paiyedar faisley ker sakta hon apni zindagi k havaley se? (yeh dekhtey huey k ye meri zindagi ka sab se eham faisla hai)


Q-6: eik occasion pey meri sister mutalika larki se mil chuki hain. us moqay pe us k walidain aur mary uncle bhi shareek they aur yeh bohat wazeh bat thi k ehsan tareekay se larki k walidain ney larki ko bhi mehfil mein shareek rakha. Mein zati sharam ki bina pey larki ko baghor na dekh paya aur is doran mujhay us se bat karney ki bhi koi hajat mehsos na hui aur mein karta bhi to kia bat karta. Bad mein mujhay ehsas hua k shaid mein ney moqa kho diya kyon k isi bahaney I could have seen her. Mein apney dil k kisi qoney mein ye kami mehsos karta hon. Kia mera bat na karna hi darust tha ya mein ker leta?

Q-7: Kia us se bat karney ki talab hona chahat ki waja se tha ya mary dil k us khof ki waja se k mein apne ap ko usey tasleem karney ka pora moqa dena chahta tha ? (matlab usey reject karney se darta tha)

Q-8: mehfil k bad ghar k gate pey larki ki walida se meri rasmi guftago hui. Is doran mein ney mehsos kia k larki dewar ki ouwt se mujahy dekh rahi thi magar mein ney aisa pretend na honey dia k mein ney ye bat mehsos ker li hai. Kia wo mujhay observe ker rahi thi ya k ye uski razamandi ki ilamat samjhi ja sakti hai?


Q-9: eik aur bat jo mein ney mehsos ki k us k qareeb hotey hue mujhay koi feelings na huin magar bad mein aksar uska khayal ata raha. Ab bhi jab mujhay uska khayal ata hai to mein confuse ho jata hon k agar meri usi larki se shadi ho jati hai to kia mein usi tara lack of feelings ka shikar hon ga jis tara us k samney hua?

Q-10: insan k khayalt aur imaginations pey us ka koi zor nai. Aksar aukat jab mein us k baray mein sochta hon to kuch embarrassing khayalat apne ap mary zehan mein a jatey hain. mein is mamley mein detail mein nai jana chahta. Magar jab bhi kabhi aisa hota hai to mujhay apne ap se embarrassment hoti hai aur mein aitemad mein kami ka shikar ho jata hon. Kia mein apni lust ko mohabat ka nam dey raha hon ya mujhay aisey khayalat mohabbat ki waja se atey hain? mein is mamley mein bhi confusion se nikalna chahta hon.


Q-11: kia aisey khayalat ka ana normal hai? Kia aisey khayalat ko aney se roka ja sakta hai? Kyon k mein koshish k bawjod nai rok pa raha. (mein namaz baqaidgi se parhta hon aur is k ilawa bhi meri degar masrofiat healthy hain to kindly is k ilawa suggestion dijeay ga)


Q-12: uncle ka kehna hai k agar tm razamand ho to mangni ker daty hain wagarna achey rishtay nikal jatey hain. kia is stage pe mangni karana darust rahey ga jab walida ka stance uncertain hai (mein future k tanazur mein is bat ko dekh raha hon k kahin bad mein koi badmazgi na ho jae)


Q-13: larki ney recently hi matric k exam diye hain aur us ka pas-e-manzar rural hai jab k mein urban bachground rakhta hon aur research scholar hon to mein is bat pe usey reject nai karna chahta k us ka background ziada parha likha nai. Insan chahta hai k usey sab kuch miley magar mary baray kehtey hain k eik waqt mein sab kuch nai milta. Kia is pas manzar ko dekhtey huey shadi k bad meri zindagi mein us k ghar ka koi asar to nai parey ga? (jesa k log aur rishtey dar batain kartey hain)


Q-14: Mein mazeed parhney ka irada bhi rakhta hon. Kia mujhay taleem mukammal honey k bad is pe further sochna chahiye ya k is mamley ko further agey barhana chahiye? Keeping in view k academic carrer to meri zaati responsibility hai magar rishtey k mamley ko mein khud se agey nai barha sakta..ya ye k mujhay aur intzar ker lena chahiye?

aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:13th Feb 2017, 11:54pm
 

Suggestion needed

If someone is still out there kindly spent some time with this topic too...
aiki Group: Members  Joined: 03rd Apr, 2009  Topic: 11  Post: 70  Age:  27  
Posted on:17th Mar 2017, 1:57pm
 

@Senior members

I want senior members to give their opinion on it as well...
For More Detail Click On Page No: 1
 
 
 
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