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rape case

Social Problem
 
 
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:22nd May 2017, 12:31pm
 

rape case

Depression
2 saal pehly mera rape hua tha .ab men dhadi shuda hun .lakin ab tak us waqay ko bhool nai saki .men kia karun .har wakt udadi hai gusa hai .kuch kam b sahi nsi kr pati .

Men ne aj tak ye bat kisi se b share nai ki.dill men rakhi hai.yahan mjy help mil sakti hai ?
bushra2012 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2013  Topic: 1  Post: 1779  Age:  80  
Posted on:24th May 2017, 9:09pm
 

username feri975 - rape case and counseling (part-1)

Profile ke hisab se aapki age 21 he. Yaani ke yeh na-khushgawaar waqea jab hua tab aapki age 19 thee.

Rape counseling & recovery ka pehla element yeh hota hai (acceptance) ke victim iss baat ko accept karay ke uske saath yeh bura waqea paish aya hai. Yeh tasawwur karne se yeh waqea hua he naheen, masail barhtay hain, kam naheen hotay. Aap recovery kelye pehla qadam utha chuki hain, yaani ke aapne tasleem kia ke yeh takleef-deh waqea aapke saath peish aya hai. Beshak aap bohot bahadur hain.

Rape counseling and recovery ka doosra step yeh hota hai ke kisi ki madad li jae. Ismain pehli mada emotional support ki soorat main hoti hai. Lekin jab tak kisi ko apna gham bataya naheen jaega tab tak woh aapke gham ko halka karne ki koi tadbeer bhi naheen kar sakay ga. Yeh topic bana kar aap doosra qadam bhi utha chuki hain. Ab aap jald he zaroor apni manzil pe ponhchain gi.

Teesra qadam: rape victim apne rape ke waqea ko yaad karay (uski juziaat ke saath). Faida: Iska faida yeh hota hai ke choonkeh rape ke baad pehlay pehel to uskay baray mein sochnay ka dil he naheen chahta. Phir jab zehen iss baat ko qabool kar leta hai to is waqea ki ziada karahat/ghin wali (most disgusting) aspects ko phir bhi deny karta rehta hai. Iss waqea ko yaad karnay ka maqsad yeh naheen hota ke aisa karke iss waqea ko zehen main khoob pakana hai aur kichri banani hai, aur isko apni zindagi pe hawi kar lena hai. Balkeh yaad karnay ka yeh maqsad hota hai ke yeh baat takleef-deh hai, magar aisi nahen ke iskay baray mein socha bhi na ja sakay.
Yeh bilkul aisa he jesay kisi ke inteqaal (sad situation) ke baad loag marhoom/marhooma ki zindagi, maut ke waqeaat aur marnay ke baad ki batain sochtay hain. Aur isi tarah aahishta aahista sabar aa jata hai.

Chotha amal: Rape ke waqea ko khoob achi tarah sochnay ke baad isko bayan karna zaroori hai. Har kisi ke saamnay nahen, kyunkeh loag be-hisi dikhaen ge, ya phir kisi aur tareeqay ka response deinge, to recovery aur emotional strength ke bajae mazeed he masail main izafa ho jaega.
Lekin kisi supportive person (better if properly trained counselor) ke saamnay iska bayan zaroori hai. Iskay peechay yeh hikmat hai, ke apne nuqsaan ka iqraar karna aur kisi se share karna aik bohot himmat ka kaam hai. Jab rape victim ne yeh himmat karli to uski recovery ka amal bohot hadd tak paya-e-takmeel pe pohonch jata hai.
Rape victim ko sab se ziada yeh ehsaas maaray daalta hai ke uskay saath koi itni buri baat hogai he jisko lafzon ki soorat naheen di ja sakti. Yaani ke woh itni gandi baat he, ke alfaaz ke zariye uska ghinaona pan aur aziat ki intaha represent nahen ki ja sakti.
Jab rape victim aik martaba apni aap-beeti ko alfaaz ki soorat main le ay, to yeh barrier bhi break ho jata hai.

Panchwan qadam: Rape victim ke zehen main apne rape se mutalliq bohot se ibhaam ho saktay hain, jo uski recovery ke raste main rukawat ban jatay hain. Emotional support aur counseling faraham karnay wala/wali unn baton ko samajh ke rape victim ke zehen ki girhain kholta hai.

Chothay aur panchwain stages mein rape victim ko baar baar rona aata hai. Lekin rona to uss waqt bhi aata hai jab rape victim kisi qisim ki bhi counseling na le. Farq kia hai? Farq yeh hai kisi bhi qisim ki counseling na lenay ki soorat main sirf apni mazloomiat ka maataam hota rehta hai, jabke chothay aur panchwaen step main jo rona aata hai woh aik tarah ki therapy hai jismein aansuon ke raste gham nikalta chala jata hai, aur har baar dil ka bojh halka hota chala jata hai jabke aik waqt aisa aa jata hai ke phir mazeed ronay ki zaroorat nahen rehti.

---------------------------

Aap ba-himmat hain ke pehla aur doosra qadam uthaya. Ghut ghut ke marnay ki koi zarurat naheen. Dunya main saaray achay loag mar naheen gae. Bohot se loag aapka saath deinge next ke steps main.

Aap mazeed himmat karke step number 3 or 4 uthayye. Aap apni aap-beeti Noorclinic Forum pe likhye. Bila-shuba yeh bohot himmat ka kaam hoga. (Iss se na sirf aapko, balkeh rape ka nishana ban janay walay aur bohot se males aur females ko bhi confidence milega).

---------------------------



feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 1:08am
 

depression

thank u .plz ap meri help karyn. ye do saal pehly ki bat hai men college gai thi mujhy friend ne bulaya tha roll num slip leny k liy .clg men laptop takseem hony ka function horaha tha .clg k ak hisy men function tha is liy dusry hisy men pichy k darwazy se clg ja k roll num slip leni thi.lajin wahan koi b nai tha .clurk ne kaha k abi nai ai roll num slip .to men gate k pas beth k wait kar rahi thi .garhi waly ne ana tha leny .
wahan function men any wali kuch larkian b thin.men b un k sath beth gai .phir wo b chali gain men wahan akeli thi tab hi gate se 4 larky andar ay ur mjy pakr k room men le gay .ur wahan function ki waja se shor b tha .kisi ne awaz b nai suni .ur phir rape men agy nai bta sakti
bushra2012 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2013  Topic: 1  Post: 1779  Age:  80  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 7:11am
 

username feri975 - rape case counseling (part-2)

Jesa ke aap ne iss topic main likha:

Link: http://forum.noorclinic.com/thread.php?topic=1106

aap janti bhi naheen ke woh kon thaa. Jab ke ab aap ne 4 larkon ka zikir kia hai.

(Shayd iss tarah ka nazuk waqea hamaray muashray ke bohot se larkon aur larkion ke saath bhi pesh aa chuka hai).

Ab sawal yeh hai ke:

Q: Kia aap ko (baar baar ya aik baar) ehsaas hota hai ke iss waqea main aapka koi qasoor hai?
Q: Kia aapke zehen main baar baar (ya aik baar bhi) yeh khyal aaya ke agar aisa na hota to shayd yeh waqea pesh na aata, shayd wesa na hota to yeh waqea bhi na hota?



feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 7:20am
 

depression

g esa khial ata hai .
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 7:22am
 

depression

g mjy nai pata k kon tha .un men se kisi ko b nai janti .sway ak k name k



feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 7:26am
 

depression

mjy esa nai lagta k ye waqya kbi bhola b ja sakta hai .lagta jesy kuch hojayga

feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 7:26am
 

depression

...MOD EDIT: Removed duplicate...



larina Group: Members  Joined: 17th Jan, 2017  Topic: 7  Post: 109  Age:  23  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 10:42am
 

feri

Sis thank God dusri problem solve hui apki ab husband ko aitamad me rakho
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:25th May 2017, 11:27pm
 

Larina


Thanks
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:26th May 2017, 11:21pm
 

mjy koi reply kiu nai mil raha

mjy koi reply kiu nai mil raha.

bushra2012 Group: Members  Joined: 15th Oct, 2013  Topic: 1  Post: 1779  Age:  80  
Posted on:28th May 2017, 6:44pm
 

username feri975 - rape case counseling (part-3)

QUOTE: "men agy nai bta sakti"

Yeh jo aapke andar isko narrate karne ka hosla nahen paida ho paa raha, isko overcome karna hai. Himmat karni hai. Jesa ke ooper part-1 wali post main bataya, iss waqt aapka zehen iss waqea ko band kar raha hai, aur aapko yeh bawar kara raha hai ke shayd yeh waqea hua he nahen, ya phir yeh waqea itna ghinaona hai ke kisi ko batanay laeq nahen, ya phir isko moonh se kehnay main kisi qisim ka nuqsaan hai, ya phir iss waqea ko chupana he asal mazbooti hai. Yeh tamam responses sabhi rape victims main pae jatay hain.

In fact koi shakhs kisi sexual crime ka nishana na banay, balkeh kisi aur tarah ke crime ka nishana banay, tab bhi uski bayaan karnay ki himmat nahen hoti aur woh samjhta/samajhti hai ke yehi strength hai (keeping it a secret, having a secret, bearing it alone, feeling like a hero, etc.)

Yaad rakhye NCF aik sex education forum hai, sex excitement forum nahen. Aapki zindagi main guzra hua sadma koi hindi sex vex story nahen. Moderation active hai, agar koi aisi baat hui jis se aapki privacy mutassir honay ka dar hua, to moderation ki janib se usay remove kar dia jaega. Jis detail ko unnecessary graphic detail samjha gya, usko bhi moderation ki janib se remove kardia jaega, takeh kaheen loag aapki pareshani ko zaati lazzat ka rasta na bana lain. Agar koi user aapko abuse karta/karti paii gai ya kisi qisim ke insensitive comments huay to unhain bhi edit, remove, warn aur block ke zariye control kia jaega.

QUOTE: "g esa khial ata hai"

Q: Aap ginwayye ke aapke khyal main iss waqea main aapke kon kon se qasoor hain?
Q: Kon kon si batain hain jo aapke khyal main na hoteen to aap bach jateen?

QUOTE: "g mjy nai pata k kon tha .un men se kisi ko b nai janti"


Iss baat se yeh andaza hota hai ke kisi qisim ki prosecution mumkin naheen (legal prosecution).
Q: Kia aap ko yeh khyal aata ha ke akhir woh kon loag thay?

QUOTE: "mjy esa nai lagta k ye waqya kbi bhola b ja sakta hai"


Bohot se sadmay baRay hotay hain aur unko bhulana asan nahen hota. Aksar soorton main aisa na-mumkin hai. Aapse kisi ne naheen kaha ke aapko yeh waqea bhulana hoga.

Balkeh rape ke baad counseling ka maqsad hota hai uskay nafsiati asraat se bahar aana.

Parallel example: Ghar ke kisi fard (family member) ka inteqal (qudrati/hadsaati) aik andoh-naak (saddening) waqea hota hai. Kai loag poori zindagi uss waqea ko naheen bhulatay. Balkeh har saal barsi bhi manatay hain takeh uss waqea ki yaad taaza ho jae. Albatta uss waqea ka "gham" kam/khatam ho jaa hai chahay yaad baaqi reh jae. Acceptance bhi aa jati hai yaani zehni taur pe qabool kar lia jata hai ke aisa hua.

Yeh waqea aap shayd kabhi bhula na paen lekin NCF ke members ki mehnat se inshAllah iska asar/sadma kam ya khatam zaroor ho jaega.

Aur yeh bhi aik haqeeqat hai ke waqt sab se baRa marham hai.

QUOTE: "lagta jesy kuch hojayga"


Yeh "kuch" Kia hai?

Q: Aap apni "kuch" ko define karain. Aisa kia ho jaega?

QUOTE: "koi reply kiu nai mil raha"


Reply islye naheen mil paa raha ke rape ya deegar sexual violence ke baad ki janay wali counseling, aik hassas kaam hai aur bohot se loag iski bareekion ko naheen samajhtay. Balkeh kaafi loag to isko discussion ke qabil topic nahen samajhte (taboo) jiski wajah se woh shayd wo iss topic ka rukh na karain.

Naiz professional doctors bhi waqt nikal kar kabhi kabhi aatay hain, magar rozana naheen.

--------------------

EHEM BAAT: Bohot saari single line posts na karain. Jo sawal "Q" likh kar hain, unhain copy karke unke neechay apne jawabaat likhain, aur aik he post main likhain. Jawab bhi single line na ho, koshish kar ke draft banaen aur jamay jawab dain takeh unn jawabaat ki roshni main aapi rehnumai ki ja sakay.
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:30th May 2017, 5:08am
 

depression

Q:Aap ginwayye ke aapke khyal main iss waqea main aapke kon kon se qasoor hain?
mjy lgta hai k mjy us din clg nai jana chaiy tha mjy friend ne bulaya ur men vhali gai .us ne roll num slip k liy bulaya tha lakin wo khud nai ai thi.
ur agr us din khud k sath hi kuch kar lia hota to acha tha .esy bht se khial aty hain zehan men .
mjy wahan nai bethna chaiy tha mjy b function men chaly jana chaiy tha .

Q: Kon kon si batain hain jo aapke khyal main na hoteen to aap bach jateen?
mjy tab bukhar tha clg na jati to acha tha .ami b khti thin k na jao clg .tbiat thek nai .par men gai .kash na jati .ya apny kisi behn bhai ko le jati .ya mera barha bhai hota to wo sath hota .

Q:Aap apni "kuch" ko define karain. Aisa kia ho jaega?
mjy lagta hai kjy kuch hojay ga .aksar kam karty zehan men nai rehta k kia kar rahi hun .kbi kisi chez ko dekhti rehti hun .to dill krta hai us chez ko torh dun ya sar pe marun.aksar khuli ankho men achank hi wo ankho men ajata hai.aksar khun zameen pe parha nazar ata hai.aksar samandar ki awaz ati hai .dill karta hai pani men rahun.ankhyn band karun to esa lgta h k jesy samdar k beech men hun ird gird pani hai .is liy dar lgta hai k men khud ko hi kch kr na lun
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:30th May 2017, 8:16am
 

depression

tab function men any wali kuch larkian b usi hisy men mery sath thin.phir wo b chali gain .to men wahan akeli thi .tab 4 larky ay ur mjy sath hi kamra tha wahan le gay .shor boht tha kisi ne awaz nai suni .ak larka jis ne rape kia baki us ki help kr rhy thy .mjy pakra tha .ak bahr tha jo khial rakhta tha k koi ay na .ur wo larky us ko name se bulaty thy is liy bas usi ka name pata hai ....MOD EDIT: Removed real name... ur wo mery kano pe kat ta tha .wo zakham b kafi der rhy thy .marta b tha hath b pajry thy dusry larky ne .kabi gala dabata tha khta tha mar dun ga .kabi munh pe hath rakhty kafi der .
men usko b kasmyn de rahi thi k man ki kasam apni behn ki kasam esy na karo .par wo sunta nai tha .dard b boht zyada tha ur jab men dusry larko ko khti k apni behn k kasam is ko roko .esy na karo mjy apni behn samjo .meri jaga wob ho sakti hai.to wo larka kehta k mery baad un ki hi bari hai men ur zyada rony lag jati .boht tarly menaty b ki.boht zor lgany ki koshish b ki .khud ko bachany ki jitni koshish men kar sakti thi men ne ki .usky baal khenchti thi .to wo b mery bal pakr lety ur marty thy..
phir mjy chakar se any lg gy thy .to phr shayd tab hi wo chaly gay .phir sham ko men jb bahr ai to gate pe chokidar tha men gate k pas gai us ne kha jao jao .bat b nai suni ur bahr bhej dia .mjy kuch samj nai ai .tab sham hi hori thi .shayd 4 bjy hon .tab men wahan se nikli ur chal kar kafi agy agai thi.kabi is tarf jarahi thi kabi us taraf jarahi thi .phir wahan pco se abu ko call ki .to jab men ne kaha k men bat kar rahi hun leny ayn to kehty k jahan ho udhar e raho ab.men roty huy phir kha k gari nai ai .to call kat di .
phir dubara call ki .ur leny any k liy kha to abu leny ay kafi din chup chap rahi na khana pina.na sona .boht mushkil din thy
kisi ko btany ki b himat nai thi .ur agr esa kuch ho kisi k sath to larki ko hi ghalt samja jata hai ur chup kra dia jata hai .larky ko koi kuch nai puchta.aksar larki ko mar dety hain .
tab men dubara clg nai gai ur na hi paper diy .meri tbiat zyada khrab hogai thi .mjy typhoid bukhar hogya tha .hospital men rahi thi .



larina Group: Members  Joined: 17th Jan, 2017  Topic: 7  Post: 109  Age:  23  
Posted on:30th May 2017, 6:15pm
 

feri

Apka hadsa sun k bht afsos hua BT ab pareshan na ho pichli post me bhi mene apko kaha tha husband ko etamad me rakho sis bhool jao sab kuch plz koshish to kro .khud ko etna pareshan mat kro you know mujhy kisi ne dokha dya milny ka kaha sex ki koshish ki one inch to two inch penis insert hua dar h shadi rat masala na hojae blood na aya to but sex ni hua tha ab meri jald shadi hone wali hai dar LGA rehta h k hymen ka and bht khushh hun future husband k sath ap btao ap to married ho mujhykoi. Problem to nhi hogi shadi ki rat.mebhi bht upset rehti hun sis
larina Group: Members  Joined: 17th Jan, 2017  Topic: 7  Post: 109  Age:  23  
Posted on:30th May 2017, 6:16pm
 

sis

Bhool jao SB kuch Allah pak apko hosla dy
feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:31st May 2017, 11:52pm
 

Larina

Apko darny ki koi zrurat nai.agar us wakt bleeding nai hui thi to koi masla nai .shadi ki rat wesi hi hogi jesy pehli dafa ho.ur agar bleeding hui thi tab b koi masla nai .aksar wo jhili jo phatny se bleeding hoti hai .khail kood se b phat sakti hai.is liy shadi ki rat bleeding na hony se b kuch nai hoga .jab tak ap khud husband ko na btao.unko pata nai chaly ga
Ur agar husband khud shreef hai ur ap pe yakeen b hai to esa kuch nai puchyngy.
Ur husbands bv k sath reh kar .rehan sehan dekh kar .rwaya toar tareeky .nature ur wafadari dekh kar fesla karty hain k unki bv kesi hai .so shadi k bad unka khial rakhiy ga ....Don't wory
larina Group: Members  Joined: 17th Jan, 2017  Topic: 7  Post: 109  Age:  23  
Posted on:31st May 2017, 3:19pm
 

feri

G. Thanks sis sory apki post pe msg kia ap mujhy meri post pe rep kr dyna ( penis touch se hymen repture hota kia )ye post meri hai.sis tab me khari thi dewar k sath r pain hua to WO hat gya jab mene tissue LGA kr dekha ek dot blood ka tha mujhy kaha k rasta sae open nhi hua h khary hone ki wjha se r phr Milne ka kaha me na mili q k WO just sex desire puri krna chahta tha phr meri mangni ho gai r love ki bht khush hun phr us ghtia insan ne mere mangetar ko ye sab batya unho ne mujh se puxha mene kaha ye sab jhoot ha..unho ne kaha myjhy tm pe ykeen h phrb dar lgta k perda ho ga ya no...and sis ap apni upar wali 2 post dubara copy kr k paste kro taky apko bushra 2012 rep dy
larina Group: Members  Joined: 17th Jan, 2017  Topic: 7  Post: 109  Age:  23  
Posted on:31st May 2017, 3:22pm
 

sis

Email mily to rep krna ap email pe ...MOD EDIT: Removed email address...



feri975 Group: Members  Joined: 16th May, 2017  Topic: 2  Post: 60  Age:  21  
Posted on:3rd Jun 2017, 2:23am
 

larina

g ki bat nai.tension ki koi bat nai
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