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my problem - Fear/Anxiety

Unmarried Boys Problems
 
 
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:30th Jul 2017, 3:29pm
 

ahmedsyed

I got it brother. I did not want to go into the details to hurt you further. What you have gone through is painful. No one can forget it easily. I totally understand but I am trying to tell you move your focus from all that happened in the past to your present and just keep going. Going to the past hurts a lot if it has not been good. You have really already suffered a lot but why I am asking you not to label yourself is that you are not what the label says. You ended up becoming like that because of few people in your life who did not do good to you. You are on the way of defeating them as you have these degrees and the knowledge to go ahead in life. Please give yourself nice labels. Show them what you can do and I pray for you to get the best. Its time to show your fiance that she was wrong. Its time to ignore all those people who brought you at this stage and prove them wrong. They do not deserve your attention or your thoughts. You know what just after writing a response to you yesterday I had a panic attack. So I know what you are going through. Just keep going strong until God calls us.
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:30th Jul 2017, 3:38pm
 

thanks sister

Yes you are right i am also focusing on working to improve my self and you are right about labels i am doing my best to live a good life now what i ask from you is to suggest me some good ideas and tips so i can focus on them i will defeat everyone who wronged me Thanks for praying for me i will also Pray for you and InshaAllah one Day i will be successful
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:31st Jul 2017, 3:37pm
 

ahmedsyed

Just be there for yourself and do not feel inferior ever. It may just be your test for a happy life in Jannah. They may have failed but it is your chance to pass. Put a smile on your face most of the times because that's what makes your enemies boil :D No I am joking. Just do not pay attention to them and get involved in sports activities. Half an hour to one hour exercise is important to feel good. When you have panic or anxiety attacks, make yourself understand that the more you think about it the more it will affect you. Just let it happen and watch what your body does. It is our body going crazy for no reason because what you felt in your childhood or what you felt at your workplace is over. Even if it was one minute ago. It is not going to control your life. Attack the attack by-

  • doing at least one activity you like
  • exercise even if you do not like
  • breathing and stretching
  • eating well and on time (do not miss breakfast, avoid oily and refined food)
  • pray fajr
  • have a pet if convenient
  • talk to people with whom you are comfortable
  • try to not go to a psychiatrist (sometimes the side effects of medicine are so strong that they give you more trouble than you already had)

Choice is yours always. Good luck little brother

ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:1st Aug 2017, 6:29pm
 

thank u sister

yes you are right i am very glad you are helping me as i am your brother and i do walk daily 1 hour and my diet is not good which i am making it good diet and soon i will make a cup of tea a day and i value your suggestions can u tell what should i do to overcome the thoughts about my engagement which is disturbing me a lot i dont know but i am not able to forget her sometimes a thought comes in my mind that she will marry someone else ye muje hurt krta hai aisa thought jb b ata hai takreeban daily mujse ye accept ni hota k mene jis se pyar kiya mangni ki wo kisi aur se shadi kre muje koi tips ya aise methods bataen agr ap samaj ti hai toh please please do suggest me

Thanking you
From
your little brother
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:1st Aug 2017, 6:44pm
 

thank u sister

...MOD EDIT: Removed duplicate post...



dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:2nd Aug 2017, 2:18pm
 

ahmedsyed

You are welcome brother. I would like to know few things if you are comfortable writing about it. Have they decided on a groom for her yet? How was your relationship with them? Do you think there is a chance she can get back with you?

Please include that much information which will not harm you because deletion is not an option here. Please be careful to not divulge details related to identity.


ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:2nd Aug 2017, 5:39pm
 

yes sister

yes i am also concerned for my privacy so what u asked sister i will explain here as much possible

they are conservative and village type people no groom is yet finalized for her
my relation with her was like true lovers can be said soul mates we had accepted our self as husband and wife we use to talk daily on calls and msgs u can understand what i mean .

yes there are certain chances that i can get her because they dont have any proposal thn me as they never consider someone out from their own cast so what i think is that and they even dont have any educated man in their cast so i think i still have chances
now prob is that i am not able to forget her as i loved her with my soul and all my sincerity so please do suggest me
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:2nd Aug 2017, 6:31pm
 

ahmedsyed

Phir koyi bhi problem honi nahi chahiyeh brother. Just get up and go meet her family. Explain everything and request them to keep it confidential. Jitna ho sakey real bat batao unko or extended family ne jo bhi kaam kaharab kiya hy apka. Promise them that you will never let their daughter suffer. Ensure that you will get a good job as soon as possible. Zyadah bhi request nahi karna hy firm hokar confidence se bat karna. Explain to them that you are trying your best to lead a happy life and you will make sure that their daughter is happy. Direct communication is the best way. If this is not possible then ask your sister to help you out in this.

Let me know if it sounds good.
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:2nd Aug 2017, 6:34pm
 

ahmedsyed

Talking with the girl regularly or accepting as husband wife is not the best option according to Islam also. Try to hit the nail on its head and live comfortably. Thinking about it all the time is not going to solve the problem. So get up and get going. I is your life you have to make it better by working hard and being confident.
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:2nd Aug 2017, 6:59pm
 

hmm yes

you are right dear sister i will try my best to move forward and work hard and yes my eldest sister with whom i have shared this all is helping me she is trying to contact with them once it is done we both will go and meet them we will not tell anyone about this until everything is sorted out once again your suggestions have helped me alot and i and my sister are working to solve this problem hope ap b dua karey apne bhai k liye thank u so much
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 3:34pm
 

ahmedsyed

Zroor dua karungi. Whenever you have problem do not shy away from sharing. And never hurt yourself. Something good always comes up.
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 5:21pm
 

bht bht shukriya sister

mere bht masle hai pr kehte hai na saray masle kisi na kisi ek cheez se related hotey hai mere prob mai hai wo financial security because of no job i am dependent on my family kal apse bat krne k bad maine better feel kiya so aj brothers k saath jhagra hogaya muje pta ni q har waqt dar lagta hai koi khanay ki cheez khareed ta hu toh lagta hai is mai zeher hai koi muje maar dega kahi jata hu toh lagta hai koi mere sath larai kr k mardega . dnt know pehle ye anti depression tablet se ssri se sahi huway thai ab wahi haal hai ab mai afford b ni kar sakta k kisi psychologist ko dekhau q k no job ap muje career suggestions de aur kch detail mai bataye ta kay meri help hojaye
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 7:35pm
 

ahmedsyed

Kisi ne marna hota toh ab tak maar chuka hota. Sab kuch Allah dekh rahe hen okay. You do nto need to worry. Soch soch ke apna naas kiya hua hy. Bs problem yeh hy keh apka bharosa uth gaya hy sabke upar se. Allah pe bharosa rakho agar kisi pe nahi hota. Soch ko hatao or mehnat karo. Do not be alone. Try to get medication if it helps you. Please do check out Karwan-e-hayat in Karachi. Is city ke logon ne mujhey bohot dukh pohonchaya ho sakta hy apko sukoon deyn :)

Career suggestions ke liye ap mujhey apna expert area batayen then I will suggest you.

Till that time keep rocking little brother. No bad thoughts. Allah hy
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 7:51pm
 

mai ap k hi reply ka wait kr rha thaa

ap sahi hai pr mai kya karu koi kaam ni hota na job mil rhi hy na bahar ghoomne ja sakta hu ziada door as u know aj kal haalat bht kharab hai so mai bs ajeeb sa fear jo k muje pehle huway thai ilaj se pehle wese hogai hy agr job hoti toh banda 10 se 11 ghanta kam mai laga rehta month mai salary b miltee jis se insan ilaj aur apni khushi k liye kch kre per mene apni age mai sirf dhokay . neglect , ye sab mila muje aj kal k daur mai kisi pr dependent hona mtlb k kisi aur k hukum pr saans lena hai

my specialization are my english is good muje logo ko samjhana about life bht pasand hai ata b hai :P

Computer expert hu mainly web designing , graphics designing and all sort of computer works video editing as well

muje online business mai bht interest hai per often finance ki waja se mai kamyaab ni hua

mene english mai bht courses kiye hai aksar debate competitions jeete hai college time mai


ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 7:51pm
 

mai ap k hi reply ka wait kr rha thaa

...MOD EDIT: Removed duplicate post...



dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 8:10pm
 

ahmedsyed

I understand :( Lekin ab brother pichla kuch nahi sochna hy. Bas khushiyan dekhni hen. Bas kaam karna hy. www.upwork.com try kariye ap or sath sath parhte rehna hy. College lectureship easily mil sakti hy apko. Bohat sarey badey badey printers or photographers ke yahan web designing jobs hoti hen unko explore kariye. Agha Khan foundation me jobs check kartey rahiye. Best would be to g for further studies and apply for scholarship which will cover all your expenses and move you a step ahead. Agar kahin par fully paid scholarship mil gai toh sara stress khatm. Wahan hostel me rehna or study karna :) You can also apply to rural residential schools. Chances of getting a job there are good. Rock on!
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:3rd Aug 2017, 8:14pm
 

ahmedsyed

Try British Council Pakistan opportunities. Go to all the sites that I mentioned and explore. It will lead to something bigger in sha Allah.
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:4th Aug 2017, 7:01am
 

Assalam o alaikum sister good morning and thank u

sister jaha tak study ka sawal hai muj mai ab himmat ni rahi study ki as mai ne Masters ki hai . masters k baad maine bht si scholarships k liye b apply kiya some government thee so wo un ko mil gayi jin ka influence thaa maine apni zindagi mai bht kch dekha like muje kch waqt pehle ek test pass kiya with highest number select b hai government job thee pr at the time someone else with reference got the job which was about to be given to me i said its ok lets move so i tried at private companies waha per b aisa hua school mai b phr maine kahi aur try kiya jaha jobs mili wo thee factories as supervisor waha ka mahol acha ni tha aur dusri jaga mili ek company thee waha per galiya hti thee so chorni peri
upwork and freelancer b maine try kiye thai per kaam ni bana waha b
ab mai sirf chahta hu k koi sukoon wali job milai kch paise jama kr k apna business hi krlu

mere saath sab kch ho chuka bachpan mai mere cousins uncle and aunt ne hamesha blame krwa k beizat aur khuwar krwaya jis ki waja se mai aj tak un baton ko bhool ni paya secondly meri mother mere saath bilkul b sahi ni hai mere father b

meri walida mujse theek se bat tk ni krtey which leads arguments daily aj subha b hua har roz jhagra krti hai mujse bila waja wo ya phr mere brothers sisters q k shaadi shuda hai wo apne apne husband k saath dusre city mai rehti hai meri walda ne bachpan se hi muje ehsaas e kami mai rakha mere bhaiyo ko ziada deti thee like u n liye computer aya mere liye pencil ayi bachpan se hi aisa hta rha hta rha mere walid ne toh had cross krdi he used to give me verbal abuse and then ab at age of almost young man meri walda muje har roz sunati hai jhagra krti hai jaha tk mai samajta hu meri zindagi meri walda aur mere walid ne kharab ki hai mai bs sochta rehta hu k kahi door chala jao akela rahu k wapis inko mooh hi na dikhau
dr. anne Group: Members  Joined: 11th Jul, 2017  Topic: 0  Post: 61  Age:  27  
Posted on:6th Aug 2017, 12:12pm
 

ahmedsyed

Bohat mushkilen dekhi hen apney ab bad himmat nahi chorhni. Keep trying ek din to sawera hoga. Iski shuruat unko muaf karney se hogi. Jo wo kar rahey hen unko Allah ko jawab deyna hoga. Bas jab gussa aye uth ke akele me chaley jao or bhool jao. Just ignore all of these negative situations and do not try to engage in dialogue when you are in any of these situations. Just keep your focus. Allah ke hawaley karo Allah ne hi theek karna hy. Jaisi bhi job milti hy time nikal lo and then settle down in your own business if that is what you like to do. Otherwise overseas jobs bohat ml sakti hen apko. Paisey jama karkey bahar jao shadi karkey sukoon se raho. Pakistan me jobs ki problem kafi hy. Keep applying to fully funded programs and jobs in residential schools. Feel good. You can win only when you control your response to the negative situations. Everywhere you will find nagging and backbiting. Just become immune to it as much as possible. If you are required to respond to them then make a calm response. Gussa karne wala bhi bewaqoof lagega samne sey lol.

Keep going strong!
ahmedsyed Group: Members  Joined: 22nd Jun, 2017  Topic: 1  Post: 31  Age:  23  
Posted on:6th Aug 2017, 12:38pm
 

Good evening sister

yes you are right jo ho chuka hai usko badla ni ja sakta jo ho rha hy woh tab tk hoga jb tk mai job wagera kr k alag na hojaye mai b aj kal isi koshish mai hu k kesi b job milai ab toh krni hai q k faltu beth k time zaya krne se acha hai k insaan jesi job milai kr k kch paise bana ley phr kisi business mai laga de as har koi jldi settle ni hota koi 30 years mai ja kay settle hota hai koi 26 mai hi hojata hai so bs umeed yehi hai meri k jld kahi pr job mil jaye toh mai apni zindagi behter banau . maine ap ki tips per kaam krna shuru kiya hai feeling better pehle subha subha 6 bje walk pr ni jata thaa ab jata hu aur breathing exercise b kr rha hu kafi sukoon milta hai ab keep suggesting your brother such tips and ideas which can make my life good i am thankful to you from a loving brother and do pray for me
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